Babysitting
by Maximoffs forever
Summary: When the Maximoff twins were six Magneto was too busy planning world domination to look after them and so he did what any loving father would have done, he got friends and employee's to do it instead.
1. How do you Solve a Problem Like Mystique

**Babysitting**

**1: how do you solve a problem like…Mystique? **

**I'm rewriting this, I'm not changing anything that happened, I'm just correcting spelling (or at least I'm trying to).**

**I own nothing, anyone who tells you otherwise is lying!**

**I had the idea for this, like all good ideas while half asleep, please review and enjoy!**

The sound of the front door slamming woke Wanda up from her dream.

"Pietro," she moaned, leaning over and shaking him "wake up!" She knew this wouldn't work however, as she went through the same ritual every morning and knew there was only one way to wake her twin.

"Tro, you're hair's messed up"

"What, when, how, who, why?" screamed her brother as he sat bolt upright and wide awake, hands flying to his head. "Oh, morning sis."

"Father went out just before." Wanda sighed.

Pietro looked down in disappointment, so they weren't going to be see their father today either. He shouldn't be surprised; father hadn't spent a day at home since their mother had died. Seeing how upset his sister was he went and put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "Don't worry Wands, we'll get him to stay with us, I wonder who we've got today?"

As Erik Lehnsherr aka Magneto, was so busy planning on world domination for mutants, he spent hardly any time at home. So he employed people to look after his six year old children. However they never lasted more than a day, why he could not fathom, but the fact still remained that his name was on the top of every babysitting services wall of 'hopeless cases' in the state, a thing they had to invent just for him. So the time had come when Magneto had no other choice but to use his employees as temporary babysitters, until he could find some little service that had never heard his name.

That is how Mystique found herself sitting in her boss's kitchen, reading the morning paper and looking forwards to a nice day of relaxation, I mean, how bad can two six year old children be?

Raven took a sip of coffee, turned a page of the newspaper and looked for her coffee again.

She almost fell off her chair in fright; in front of her were two children; about the same height, one with hair as black as the night, the others as white as snow. They had somehow snuck in without her even noticing.

She stared at them. They stared back. She narrowed her eyes. They didn't move a muscle. Mystique started shifting uncomfortably in her seat; they were starting to unnerve her.

"I'm Wanda and this is Pietro." said the girl after about two minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"Who are you?" asked Pietro

"My name is Mystique and your father asked me to look after you today."

"OK" they answered together.

All of a sudden they cracked into delighted child grins, happily bounced over to the table and sat on a chair each. This, if anything, scared Mystique even more.

"What's for breakfast?" asked Pietro happily.

"What do you usually have?"

"Co-co pops." They both said.

"Alright"

Mystique hunted through the cupboards and brought out two bowls, Co-co pops and a bottle of milk and placed them on the table. "There!" she stated triumphantly.

The twins just stared at her like she was an idiot.

"What?"

"You have to pour it for us." said Wanda as if she were stating the blatantly obvious.

"Why, can't you pour your own?"

"Lady we're six, we don't even know how babies are made. If we pour our own cereal who knows what'll happen?" said Pietro.

"Alright then." sighed mystique choosing to ignore the 'lady' thing, after all they were Magneto's children, if she killed them he might get a little annoyed.

She poured cereal into both the bowls, then proceeded to pour milk into Pietro's.

"Just say when"

"Little more, little more, little more, a bit more, little more."

Mystique started to growl.

"A bit more, _just a smidge more_. Too much, take it away"

"What?"

"You put too much milk on, I hate soggy cereal."

"Fine," growled mystique, "Your sister can have it."

"I don't have milk."

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

XXXXXXX

After breakfast Mystique had ordered the children to play in another room while she watched television.

Half way through _Blackadder_ the boy with hair like his fathers' came in and sat on the couch next to her.

"What's this?"

"Blackadder."

"Oh, is that a disease?"

"No, obviously it's a TV show."

"Oh, why do they speak funny?"

"Because it's a British show."

"Oh," pointing at the screen at a character Pietro laughed. "He looks ugly!"

"That's Baldrick, he's supposed to look ugly."

He pulled a face. "Well he needs his hair dying, new clothes and a hairbrush, honestly hasn't he ever herd of a thing called fashion!"

Mystique gave him a funny look.

"What?"

"I wouldn't say that kind of stuff out in public if I were you." replied Mystique.

"Why not?"

"Because it sounds gay."

"Oh, what's gay?"

"Well it's…" started Mystique but then stopped, thinking what Magneto would say if she explained to his only son that it was alright and perfectly natural to be gay.

"It's something you'll learn about when you get older." she finished lamely.

Pietro sighed. "Everyone says that!" he complained.

They sat in silence for another moment, watching Baldrick recite his 'The German Guns' poem when Pietro suddenly started pointing excitedly at the screen.

"That's Mr. Bean, that's Mr. Bean!"

"Listen," snapped Mystique. "Couldn't we just watch this quietly?"

Pietro shrunk back into the couch looking hurt.

She tried to ignore him but he was giving her the puppy dog eyes.

_This is why I didn't keep my children_ thought Mystique _I knew there was a reason!_

"Do you want to watch a film or something?" she sighed exasperated.

Pietro's face lit up.

"Wanda, Wanda, come here; we're going to watch a film!"

Suddenly his twin came rushing into the room.

"OK what are we going to watch?" asked Mystique.

"Spiderman!"

"Barbie!"

"Spiderman!"

"Barbie!"

"Spiderman!"

"Barbie!"

"Spiderman!"

"Barbie!"

Mystique was listening to this argument for a few minutes before she realized that it was Wanda who wanted to watch Spiderman and Pietro who wanted Barbie. As soon as this information hit her she decided that they really needed Magneto around; he would never let Pietro even mention the word Barbie let alone watch a film about it.

"I get to choose the fucking film!" Mystique snapped.

Both children gasped.

"You said a swear word." said Wanda in awe.

"Well, so what?"

"That's not what a mother should say."

"Well I…wait, who told you that I was a mother?"

"Well, it's obvious isn't it." said Wanda. "You're here to be our mother."

"No," replied Mystique forcefully. "I'm just here to look after you for today."

"But you love our dad don't you?" replied Wanda.

"No!"

"But you work for him." said Pietro, catching on.

"Yes but that doesn't mean that…"

"And you laugh at his jokes." said Wanda.

"Yes, but…!"

"And you fight with him." said Pietro.

"YES, BUT…!"

"And you've had sex with him." said Wanda.

"Yes, but…no…wait…what?"

"You've had sex with him." She repeated slowly as if talking to someone mentally challenged.

"We…well I…how dare…do you even know what sex is?" she finished lamely.

"Oh yes," said Pietro. "It's when a man and a woman get undressed and then they start hurting each other."

"What?" said Mystique, slightly worried that the children had seen rape or abuse, surely Magnus wouldn't, but then again, you could never know with that man.

"Uh hu," nodded Wanda in ascension. "The woman starts to scream while the man yells at her."

Now Mystique was seriously worried. "Have you ever seen this before?"

"Oh yeah," they both said in unison. "Loads of times."

"Where?"

"On TV of course." replied Pietro.

"Oh whew." Sighed Mystique in relief, she had thought for a moment her boss was a sadistic rapist.

"But we've herd daddy doing it a few times." added Wanda.

"I'm back!" Came a voice from down the hall and Magneto came into the room in his full battle gear.

Mystique stared at him in horror for a second, turned very pale and ran screaming out of the house, yelling that her employer would attack her.

"What was that about?" asked a completely confused Magneto turning to his children.

"Nothing," chorused the two children who ran up and hugged him. "We're glad you're back daddy."

**Yay, my first comedy, well it made me laugh. Please tell me what you think.**

**Oh and I'm a huge Blackadder fan, if you haven't watched it watch it, or at least search in Baldrick's poem on youtube I'm sure it will come up.**

**If you can spot any spelling mistakes, now is the time to tell me.**


	2. Stranger Danger

**Babysitting**

**2: Stranger Danger **

**Wow, as soon as I finished my first chapter I started on this one, I'm on a role!**

**If anyone likes Harry Potter, I have a Harry Potter story about Voldermort going on as well. Oh and I got a review, two even, I'm happy now!**

**Jess Maximoff, haha, a space ship and you guessed right, you knew who the next victim would be. Now that is scary (sorry I love Blackadder).**

**Sonar, thank you, I feel so happy, I was worried that it wouldn't be funny as it was my first attempt at comedy, I only hope you like this chapter as much!**

**Thank you also everyone who put this in their story alerts/favourites, you made me have a huge buzz all night, I stayed up for ages thinking of what I'd do next. (I know, I'm sad).**

**Oh, and if anyone wants to request characters to look after the twins tell me in a review and leave suggestions of what I could do to them Muahahahaha!**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy this one.**

When the children awoke the next day it was to hear two adults talking in the living room.

"…and no maiming, anything!" they could hear their father say forcefully.

"But what if one gets out of hand?" asked a gruff, guttural kind of voice.

"Then tell me and I will deal with them."

"But you won't be here so how will I tell you?"

"Have you ever heard of a magical new device called a mobile phone?" asked Magneto sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, alright boss, I'll look after 'em, but if they try anything funny on me, I can't be held responsible for my actions."

"Victor; you have fought in wars, you have been tortured by countless sadists, you have regular fights with the man with adimantium claws, surely you can handle two six year olds?"

"Yeah…yeah…you're right boss, It'll be easy!"

The twins looked at each other with identical evil grins on their faces.

As soon as they heard the door shut they strolled into the room where a large, hairy man was flicking through the channels of the television with the remote control.

"Hi," said Wanda, instantly liking him.

"Oh," grunted Sabertooth. "Er, hi."

He didn't really have much experience with children; he didn't really remember when he was a child and he didn't pay much attention to his own. In fact the only inkling he had of what it was like looking after kids was from '_The Pacifier_' with Vin Diesel and '_Kindergarden Kop_' with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and neither film had shown children in a good light. But these two didn't look so bad; in fact, with a father like Magneto they were probably really disciplined. He started to relax.

"What's your name?" asked Wanda sweetly, clasping her hands behind her back and twisting from side to side in the cute way children do.

"Victor, but you can call me Sabertooth."

"_Sabertooth_," said Pietro, his face twisted as though it tasted bad when he said it. "What kind of a name is that?"

"It's a nice name." his sister shot at him. Pietro merely looked sulky as his twin skipped over to the large man on their couch.

"Can I sit on your lap please?" asked Wanda.

"Er, yeah…sure."

Wanda bounced onto his knee and started stroking his hair. This made Pietro do two things, one, it made him feel jealous and two, it gave him an idea.

"Wanda," he said innocently. "I'm sure he'd love to play your favourite game."

"Ohhhhhh yes," Wanda squealed. "Please will you play with us, oh please, oh please, oh _please_!" she asked Sabertooth with wide begging eyes.

"I…well, I…"

"He has to," said Pietro. "Father would be angry if he didn't look after us, I mean anything could happen to us while we played, we could swallow something small, we could get cut by something sharp, we could get bitten by a snake!"

"In the play room?" criticised Wanda.

"You never know." replied Pietro solemnly.

Sabertooth started to feel like he was going to hate the mini-Magneto.

"Fine, I'll play."

Wanda's face cracked into a huge smile.

He felt happy when the girl smiled.

The two kids led Victor in a room that was obviously dedicated to their entertainment. There were shelves upon shelves of games ranging from 'Hungry-Hungry Hippos' to 'Monopoly'. The floor was littered with toys, both brand new and broken into little pieces, the walls were painted bright yellow but as for the carpet he didn't know; it could be any colour for he could not see under about a foot of debris. In the far corner of the room there was a huge pink dolls house, big enough to fit a child into each of its two floors and two to sit on the sky blue roof. Victor stared around in awe, his mouth slightly open; this was obviously the children's domain.

"Come over here Sabey!" beckoned Wanda and she expertly picked a path across the room to where a table and chair stood, in the opposite corner to the dolls house. Creed gulped then started to gingerly pick his way through the years of accumulated play things. It was worse than a mine field; his healing factor could protect him from that, but his ability wasn't helping him in the slightest when he stood on tiny figurines and little bits of plastic; it still hurt like hell.

Eventually he made it and sat down on the chair.

"OK, so what do I do?" he asked uncertainly.

"Oh, you don't have to do anything," said the boy smiling. "Just sit back and relax."

He didn't want to relax, something in that boys smile and the way he talked unnerved Victor and that was a near impossible feat.

He suddenly felt a sharp tug on the top of his head. He roared and swung around with his claw-like nails as long as he could get them, only to see Wanda with a brush and a look of complete shock on her face.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

"I just needed to brush your hair." She whispered in a barely audible voice. Then she did the worst thing Victor had ever witnessed. Her face crumpled and she started to cry.

'_Oh please no'_ he thought '_give me torture, give me prohibition, give me anything other than that!'_

"Oh geeze kid, do-do-don't cry, aw shit I didn't mean it," she just cried harder, pitiful, innocent tears. "Aw fuck, aw crap." He said as she bawled even harder at his use of language. "Look, I'm sorry kid." He pleaded as her bother hugged his sobbing sister. "Look, you can brush my hair you can do whatever you want!"

"Yay!" Her face lit up, tears stopping instantly and scaring Sabertooth out of his wits.

After what felt like hours of painful tugging and yanking on his hair the children finally seemed satisfied with it.

"Now would sir like to see the transformation?" asked Wanda in a fake French accent while her brother snickered behind his hand.

"Er, yeah, sure." Wanda beamed and brought a mirror so he could see, '_it doesn't look so bad,_ thought Sabertooth. _All they've done is tied it at the back.'_

But of course Victor could only see what the children had done to the front of his hair. What he couldn't see was that at the back the twins had plaited his hair into four plaits and tied them of with blue and pink ribbons, and Pietro had had a lot of fun with the hair glitter spray, so it looked like he was a biker transvestite in a disco club.

"It's good kid." smiled Sabertooth.

Wanda smiled, "Now it's time for your face!"

"Wait, what?"

"Your face," said Pietro smirking. "You can't have a makeover without _make up_."

"No, no, no way am I letting you put make up on me!"

"But if you don't, then it will make Wanda cry and then I'll tell dad and then he'll get really cross with you." said Pietro slyly.

Victor growled, he really hated that kid, he just wanted to reach out and tear that stupid grin off his…no, no, Magneto would not be pleased if he decapitated his son, maybe he wouldn't mind a scar though, just a little one. But the girl was giving him the puppy dog eyes again. '_Oh why didn't I listen to Mystique?'_ He wondered.

"Fine." he spat.

"Close your eyes."

He did as he was told.

Twenty minutes later he was looking into the mirror again with an unreadable expression on his face. It was probably unreadable because of the amount of make-up covering every inch of it. There was about an inch of foundation on his skin, making him look orange, on both of his cheeks and on his chin and nose there was copious amounts of blusher, eyeliner and multi coloured eye shadow covered his eyes, Wanda had painted a bright red lipstick on his lips but being a little girl she had gone all around his mouth as well and Pietro had thought that it would be funny to draw dots all over his face with the eyeliner pencil. In the end Sabertooth looked like an orange version of the joker who had really let himself go and had decided to pursue a life ling dream of being a female stripper.

"Time to go to the park!" yelled Pietro excitedly.

By now Sabertooth had nearly given up on life, so he didn't hear what Pietro had said, he didn't register the fact that the children were dragging him across town where he was getting strange looks off everyone and he only realised what had happened when he found himself on a bench watching the children on the swings.

'_What the fuck just happened?'_ he wondered to himself '_and why the hell is that woman staring at me, weirdo! Wait, why is that man staring at me and him and him and her, what the hell is wrong with everybody?'_

"What, WHAT?" he yelled at the poor parents. "Can't a guy sit on a bench now a day?"

Everyone hastily looked away, one man in a corner of the play area started to call the police on his mobile.

Creed decided that he wanted to get back to the house…now! He still hadn't remembered about the war paint or the hair-do and was getting annoyed at the members of the public who were avoiding him like the black plague.

"YOU TWO!" he yelled pointing at the twins on the climbing frame. "WER'RE GOING, NOW!"

"You can't yell at children like that." said a woman in an appalled voice.

"Look lady I can do whatever the hell I like." snarled Sabertooth.

Pietro saw an opportunity to get their babysitter into more trouble and he took it.

"Who are you?" he asked ambling over to Victor.

"The fuck do you mean who am I? I'm here to take you home aren't I?"

"But I don't know you and my daddy said to never speak to strangers."

"You mean you don't know this man?" asked the woman, shocked.

"No, he does, don't listen to him, he just wants to get me into trouble," Sabertooth told the woman in a rush. "This one's the evil one, his sister's the nice one and his dad put me in charge of looking after them today and they came in as I was watching TV then they took me to the toy room where I yelled and made the little girl cry and then I wanted to kill the boy but his dad said I couldn't kill or hurt them so he's not as scared of me as he should be. Because if it were up to me I would have decapitated the little shit half an hour ago and I'd only have to deal with the girl!"

The young mother just looked at him in a state of horror and disgust.

Having decided that enough was enough, Victor grabbed Pietro's arm and started steering him towards the park gate.

"Help, help," yelled Pietro. "Stranger danger, stranger danger!"

"…yes, now he's trying to kidnap a little boy!" said the man on the phone to the police.

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF THAT CHILD!" someone yelled.

"Wha…?" Sabertooth started as he turned round before being ambushed by about every parent in the park. They surrounded the feral and started kicking and punching and yelling at him as Pietro slipped out of his grasp and proceeded to run around the crowd yelling that he had tried to take him in lots of different voices. Creed could do nothing but take the abuse and try to tell everyone the truth, because even he could be overpowered by the sheer number of maternally enraged mothers and fathers.

When the police arrived it was to find a crowd of angry parent attacking what looked like a huge cross dresser with make up running down his face and a look of murderous intent on his face, babbling about toys, hair, someone called the master of magnetism and hair brushes. Needless to say Sabertooth was carted away in a strait jacket and mussel, in the back of a heavily padded van on his way to a mental institution.

When Magneto arrived home that night it was to find the twins sound asleep in their beds and Sabertooth nowhere to be found.

"Oh well," muttered Magneto. "He's probably just out enjoying himself."

XXXXX

"So zis man is ze Master of Magnetism is he?" asked a doctor in a white coat on the other end of town.

"Yes, that's what I've been trying to tell you. He told me to look after his kids today and I did, even though Mystique told me not to because he rapes his employees in front of them."

"And Mystique is?"

"A blue shape-shifting bitch who thinks she's perfect, but she's not trust me, I've slept with her and she's anything but, luckily I was too high to remember it that well, it happened in the sixties you see; all sex, drugs and torturing people in Nam."

"I see."

**Tada second chapter done wooooow I'm on a role here, I've never updated so fast, it's because of the reviews, I love them so much, and they make me sooooooooooooooo happy!**


	3. A Huge Problem

**Babysitting**

**A Huge Problem**

**Disclaimer: nope, nope, nope, still don't own 'em.**

**Whoo sooooo many reviews, thank you all, loads of you have given me ideas for new victims, I mean babysitters and this story does have a plot, don't worry, but there will be many chapters of meaningless fun before the plot gets underway, by the looks of it this story will never end, so yeh, back to the topic, thanks for the reviews and I'll try and include as many suggested characters as possible, oh and I suck at accents so I haven't used them for one character and you'll have to use your imaginations *the reader sighs*, wow this paragraph doesn't have one full stop in it, weird!**

**This chapter is for 0Pyromaniac0Supergirl0 and MASTER-OF-SURPRISE for suggesting the next unfortunate.**

"Children," announced Magneto the next day. "Since Mystique has gotten a court order against me and Sabertooth has been sectioned, I am leaving you in the very capable hands of an employee with a will of iron, or steel, or some type of metal, his name is Piotr and he's from Russia so be _nice_ to him!"

"We will father." replied the two angels sitting opposite him, with halos on their heads.

"Good, he'll be here in ten minutes, I'll be back late so get yourselves to bed by no later than, oh, eleven."

As soon as their father left, their halos turned to horns (metaphorically speaking of course). They turned to each other with malicious grins on their faces; they had ten minutes to plan how to…_play_!

**X.X.X**

At ten o'clock the doorbell rang, Piotr Rasputin aka Colossus stood on the doorstep. He was nervous; it was the first time he had babysat children he didn't know; back home in Russia only those that knew the children usually babysat them.

The door opened and he looked down to see a girl about one sixth his size staring up at him.

"Hello." smiled, Piotr waving.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!" screamed the girl and slammed the door.

Undeterred he knocked again, this time when she opened the door, the girl did not slam it but let him in, she was still shaking though. Piotr sighed; how was he going to convince them that he was friendly if he looked like a huge bodybuilder.

"How do you do little one, my name is Pi…" unfortunately Colossus could not finish introducing himself, as at that moment Pietro (who had been standing on a chair behind the door) bashed him over the head with a huge frying pan.

Looking down at the unconscious man the twins looked at each other, what were they going to do now?

They eventually decided to put him on the sofa in front of the TV, so that when he came too he would think he had just dozed off.

They started watching cartoons and Dexter's Lab had just ended when he woke up.

"What? Where am I?" exclaimed Piotr, holding his head.

"You're watching cartoons with us of course!" said Pietro.

Colossus was very confused so just sat still and watched Sponge Bob Squarepants. As he watched he straightened up, he became very interested, he moved forwards on the sofa, he sat on the floor, he shuffled closer and he ended up with his nose about a centimetre away from the screen.

"This is amazing," he said fascinated as the end credits started rolling up the screen. "I didn't know sponges could talk. I didn't know fishies could talk. I didn't know squirrels who lived under the sea could talk!"

Pietro and Wanda shared a look.

"How hard did you hit him?" whispered Wanda.

"I don't know," whispered back Pietro. "I just hit him as hard as I could, I'm only six after all, I can't be that strong!"

They turned back to their babysitter, who had a will of some sort of metal. He was muttering to himself.

"THAT IS IT," he declared suddenly. "I MUST FIND THESE MAGICAL CREATURES AND BRING THEM BACK SO THEY CAN TELL ME WHERE ELVIS PRESLEY IS LIVING IN SECRET!"

"Where did he get that idea from?" asked Pietro in an undertone.

"I don't know, just go along with him; he might hurt us; he's crazy!" he sister replied.

"Comrades," Piotr addressed the twins. "Where can I find these talking sea creatures?"

"Well…," said Wanda. "They live in Bikini Bottom."

"BIKINI BOTTOM!" yelled Piotr. "I WILL FIND YOU AND DISCOVER YOUR SECRETS!"

The twins were then dragged by a deranged Russian to the seaside. The only strange thing that happened on the way there was Piotr pointing to a squirrel in the park and yelling, "Look, a squirrel, up a tree, how bizarre, it should be in the ocean!"

When they arrived at the beach Piotr stripped off to his underpants, turned into metal and ran into the sea, leaving the twins standing on the sand. They smiled; three down, how many more people did their dad even know, not that many they thought and when he had no one left to turn to, he would have no other option than to look after them himself.

They started to stroll along the beach and had gone about ten steps when they found a girl around their age crying on the sand.

"What's the matter?" asked Wanda.

"Tho-those boys ova there sole ma' ball an' ruined ma' sandcastle." She replied through sniffles.

The twins turned to see two boys of about eight and four throwing a ball to each other over a pile of sand.

"Don't worry," said Wanda. "Me and my brother will help you get it back."

"We will?"

"Yes Tro, we will."

"Oh." He sighed.

"Thanks," said the girl. "What's your name?"

"Wanda," said Wanda. "And this is Pietro, what's yours?"

"Ah'm Anna."

"Nice to meet you Anna, now let's get those boys!"

The trio made their way over to where the two boys were playing with Anna's black and yellow ball. One boy, the elder one, had light brown hair, where as the younger one had sandy blond hair, they were obviously brothers.

"Hey you," yelled Wanda (always the confident one). "Give my friend back her ball, now!"

"What," laughed the elder boy. "We're not afraid of_girls_."

"Yeh, girls stink!" called his brother.

"Especially ugly ones!" the first sneered.

"Hey," shouted Pietro, red in the face. "No one calls my sister ugly or stinky, you freak!"

"Who're you calling a freak you weirdo!" yelled the first brother again.

"You, you moron, what are you, deaf as well?"

"I know you are but what am I?"

"A deaf, ugly moron."

"I know you are but what am I?"

"A deaf, ugly moron."

"I know you are but what am I?"

"A deaf, ugly moron."

"Takes one to know one!"

"THAT'S IT!"

Pietro leapt at the boy and they started wrestling in the sand while the four year old egged his brother on and the two girls rolled their eyes at each other.

"So immature."

"Ah know, they don' even know how ta fight."

Suddenly Pietro cried out in pain as his opponent had just punched him in the nose.

"THAT'S IT!"

Wanda leapt at the sniggering boy, who was taken completely unawares by the female ball of fury and was being kicked, punched and slapped everywhere.

"Now tha's a fight!" said Anna to Pietro who was clutching his nose and looking hurt.

"Uncle, Uncle, UNCLE!" yelled the boy and Wanda finally stopped her assault, got up, took the ball and said. "If I ever see you again you had better have learnt some manners!"

"Haha, you got beat by a _girl_!" teased his brother.

"Oh shut up Alex!" he complained, limping away down the beach towards his parents, with his brother laughing at him all the way.

"Here you go Anna." said Wanda handing her the ball.

"Thanks, wanna play with me?"

"Don't think we can, I gotta get the whimp back home," she said pointing at her brother. "See you again sometime though."

"Yeh, I'm sure we will." smiled Anna and waved as she ran back to her mother, with the black and yellow ball under her arm.

"I'm not a whimp!" sulked Pietro.

"Oh stop complaining cry baby; you fight like a girl!"

"Do not." he muttered under his breath. "Hey, aren't we forgetting something?"

"Huh, oh well, probably isn't important!"

**X.X.X**

That night after everyone had gone home Piotr came to the surface about ten miles out to sea.

"Hey, I have found Mr. Crabes!" he yelled holding the crab up proudly. "Little comrades, little comrades? I…owwwwww, Mr. Crabes, that was not very polite, now tell me where Elvis Presley is!"

**Oh, by the way they were helping Rogue and fighting Scott and Alex Summers, I just had to include Wanda beating up Scott because I find him annoying (though not as much as Jean).**

**And sorry that this chapter was not as funny as the first two, I didn't think it was anyway.**


	4. Fire and Death

**Babysitting**

**Fire and Death**

**OK, this chapter could go one of two ways, either it will turn out hilariously funny or it will crash and burn in hell, probably the latter but I hope not, if so though, I hope you will forgive me as I am not used to writing one of the characters but I just couldn't resist the chance at putting them both together because who could?**

**Oh and by the way, in case you haven't noticed by now, the ages of the Acolytes are a little askew, so here's the reason why: there is no reason in my fanfiction world, some of the ages e.g the twins, the Summers boys and Rogue make sense but some don't. So sorry, but for the purposes of this story they're just the age I make them out to be.**

**Thank you once again for the reviews, some of them make me feel very special, almost tearful, especially Misty Snape (great name by the way, awesome!) and well done Indigo-Night-Wisp for guessing the next sitters and well done CloudyNK and MASTER-OF-SURPRISE for guessing one of them.**

"Morning father." yawned Pietro as he hugged his father in the living room.

"Good morning Pietro," replied Magneto. "Now that you are both here I want to ask you, where is Colossus; I cannot find him anywhere?"

"No idea." said Wanda innocently.

"Well, today you have a babysitter who I want you to be very nice to, he might be a little…strange at first, but I hope you'll get used to him and his…unique personality."

The twins nodded, "When will he get here dad?"

"Well he should arrive any sec…"

Just as he was talking, a black and red figure smashed through the window and landed right in the middle of the living room floor.

"Hey, hey, hey Deadpool's here!" announced the stranger, bouncing up.

"And Pyro!" yelled the Aussie climbing awkwardly through the window. "Aww damn it, tha' was me favorite suit," he complained, as he ripped his yellow and orange uniform on the broken glass still clinging to the window frame. "In fact, tha' was me only suit!"

"Pyro," said a thoroughly shocked Magneto. "What are you doing here?"

"Aww, Pyro's my bud," laughed Deadpool. "He just came from Australia, where they live underground! Yeh, that's why they call it Down Under kids," he whispered to the twins. "I couldn't just leave him in a strange place all alone; he'll be fine, just keep him away from F-I-R-E, hehehe, man he loves that stuff, hahaha, phew!" he added slicing the air over his head with his hand.

Everyone starred at him while Pyro started playing with his lighter.

"Ohhhhhhh, this is uncomfortable." whispered Deadpool into the silence. "Yeah, anyway, so who do you want me to kill?" he asked.

"No one." said Magneto in shock.

"Huh? But you said you need an assassin."

"Assistance, I said I needed assistance."

"Ohhhh right, little communication problem there, but alright, who do you need '_assistance_'," he gave Magneto a big wink. "With?"

"My children."

Wilson looked at Wanda and Pietro then turned back to Magneto. "You want me to take out your kids, man that's cold, even for me!"

"Listen Wade, I don't want anyone dead, I just want you to look after them."

"You mean, _look after them_." He winked again.

"No, I mean I want you to take care of them."

"You mean, _take care of them_." He repeated with another huge wink.

"No," said a ticked off Magneto. "I mean I want you to stay with my children for the day, make sure they don't get into any trouble and above all **do not kill or harm them**!"

"Huh?"

"In short Wade, I want you to babysit them."

"Oh."

"I shall leave them in you capable hands." Finish Magneto walking out the door and down the hall.

"Wait," cried Wilson leaping after him. "You mean you _literally_want me to look after them?" he asked as if it were some kind of a sick joke.

"Yes."

"You _don't_ want them dead?"

"No."

"But I don't know what kids even are!"

"Goodbye Wade."

"But I don't even know how to take care of myself, let alone children!"

Magneto closed the front door behind him.

"I'm serious," he yelled. "I get Lady Deathstrike to dress me in the mornings!"

Giving up Wade sighed and went back into the room where Pyro was laughing manically when his lighter was lit and close to tears when the flame went out. Shaking his head Wade made his way over to the twins.

"Soooooo you're kids huh? How's that working out for you?"

They just stared blankly at him.

"You know the last kids your age I met, I shot! Man that was funny; you should have seen their little faces! They were like 'oh, what's tha-' BAM! hahaha," he laughed, then sighed. "Sooooo, what d'ya wanna do? We could go kill people, or let Pyro set something on fire, or take away all of his lighters, throw them in a swimming pool and watch him jump in after them, then cry when he realizes they don't work anymore!"

More starring.

"Whew tough crowd."

He had just turned his back to the children, so he could address Pyro, when Wanda and Pietro leapt into action. Quick as lightning Pietro had grabbed both of Wade's swords and Wanda had snatched Pyro's lighter and they started running around the house with them cackling insanely.

"Wow, tha' was good mate," said Pyro to Deadpool. "Oi didn't see tha' one coming!"

"No, me either, but they need to work on their laughs, I mean they sound insane but I just can't _feel_ their insanity."

The two men looked at each other as the fact that their most prized possessions had been stolen by six year olds hit them.

"SHIT!"

A high speed game of cat and mouse followed.

Pyro had Wanda trapped in the play room and was closing in on her. "Just give me 'Eather little Sheila and no one 'as to get 'urt."

Wanda merely smiled. Pyro made a leap for her, but she jumped onto the dolls house's roof and back into the hall while Pyro landed on a Monopoly board. He was picking metal figurines, houses and hotels out of his hair as he pursued the girl around the house.

Deadpool was searching the garden for Pietro. "Hey, you, little silver-haired demon," he called as he tried to find him. "If you give me back my swords now, I promise not to gut you, I'll even give you some sweets!"

He hared a giggle and whirled around just in time to see the boy drop out of a tree behind him and run back into the house.

"Damn, how did I miss a kid in a tree?"

Back in the house the two angry adults almost crashed into each other in the corridor.

"Did they…"

"Which way…"

They both asked over each other.

They froze as they hared the sound of talking coming from the play room, as silently as he could, Deadpool opened the door and they both rushed in to find the children playing with dolls by the dolls house.

"Were…?" started Pyro, looking around. "'EATHER!" he yelled as he rushed to embrace the lighter on the table. "It's alroit, daddy's 'ere, don' worry none."

"Huh? What the…? MY BABIES!" cried Deadpool gently taking his swords and sliding them pack into place.

The twins watched in amusement as Pyro and Deadpool ran to each other, crying and started dancing around in a circle like ring a ring a roses, cackling like maniacs and holding hands.

After about thirty seconds of insanity the twins got board again and carried on playing Barbie.

When John and Wade calmed down, they joined the children.

"What cha' doin'?" asked Pyro, completely forgetting about what the children had done to his lighter.

"Yeh what is that?" asked Deadpool forgetting about his swords.

"It's Barbie," replied Wanda. "Do you want to play?"

"Alright."

The two men got handed a Barbie doll each; Pyro got skiing Barbie and Deadpool got explorer Barbie. In no time at all the two adults were more into the game than the children where.

"Oh help me, help me," cried Wade in a high pitched voice. "I'm drowning."

"Don' worry," declared Pyro in an equally girly voice. "Oi've got you!"

"Oh thank you so much Wendy."

"It was no problem lil Sheila"

"Who're you calling little you creep!" Deadpool's Barbie slapped Pyro's Barbie.

"You ya skank!" Pyro's Barbie leapt on Deadpool's Barbie and they started fighting.

The two men suddenly forgot that it was a game and stood up and started yelling at each other.

"You bitch, you said we were friends for life!"

"Well I were'nt the one what stole me best mates guy ya whore!"

"I am not a whore!"

"No, ya roight; who on earth would wanna touch you!"

The two started punching, slapping and yanking each other's hair.

Growing tired of their insanity Wanda and Pietro retired into the living room, to come up with a plan to get rid of their sitters.

"What can we do Wands," asked a defeated Pietro. "We can't drive them crazy, 'cause they already are, we can't get them scared at dad 'cause their crazy and we can't loose them because if we hit them over the head, they'll be just the same!"

Wanda, who had stayed silent through her brother's rant, calmly stood up and walked over to the coffee table with today's newspaper on it. "I think I've got an idea." She smiled, pointing to the advertisement on the front page.

**X.X.X**

"Where are we going, where are we going, where are we going?" repeated Wade like a dog as he followed the twins into the park.

"Somewhere brilliant," said Pietro. "Somewhere you'll really love."

"Australia? Are we goin' to Australia, is that where we're goin'?" asked an excited Pyro.

"No," replied Wanda. "Somewhere even better."

"Where could be better than…?" Pyro tailed off as he stared at the sight in front of him. Deadpool's eyes widened and both their mouths opened in awe and wonder at the magical sight before their eyes.

"Welcome, welcome, come one, come all, to see the wonder of the Munich Circus!" declared a man on a plinth just outside the entrance.

The four of them walked into the main tent where there was chaos; there were stalls with vendors trying to sell their merchandise, litter was strewn across the floor and people were everywhere, playing games, eating candyfloss and talking in loud, excited voices.

For Pyro and Deadpool, Christmas had come early!

"Can I have candyfloss?" begged Wade dragging Pietro to a candyfloss stall.

"I wan' oice cream!" yelled John, running over to an ice cream stall.

"No, sorry, no treats, we haven't got any money." apologized Wanda.

"That doesn't matter love." Wade told Wanda. "We didn't say we wanted it _bought_."

So ten minutes later, they found themselves sitting on the tall stands around the performance area, watching the performers while eating stolen food.

"And now," boomed the commentators voice. "If you would please direct your attention to the main pole, you will see the one, the only, the incredible…NIGHTCRAWLER!"

Two searchlights lit up a small figure waving at the audience from on top of a fifty foot platform. The boy (about eleven or twelve) was holding onto a swing. Suddenly he jumped and the audience gasped, then he was flying in the air, doing amazing tricks on the swing. Finally he let go of the metal strip in mid air and started falling, only to disappear in a cloud of smoke and reappear, completely unharmed in the centre of the ring to tumultuous applause.

After the show had ended the twins were leading a tired Pyro and Deadpool out of the tent.

"When Oi grow up, Oi wanna be a Noitcrawler!" muttered Pyro.

"I'm sure you will be," smiled Wanda. "In fact you can be!"

The two men looked at her sleepily.

"She's right," added her brother. "You two could run off and join the circus!"

"We-we could?" asked Wade.

"Of course you could," Wanda declared. "You could juggle swords, and Pyro, you could eat fire!"

"Eat fire, why would Oi want to eat fire, Oi love fire, Oi'd never kill it loike that, Oi'm not a cannibal!"

"OK then, you could breathe fire," exclaimed Pietro. "You'd be perfect!"

"Yeh," said Wade. "Come on John, let's go join the circus, come on, we'll run away and never have to come back! We'll never be told what to do by stinky grown-ups ever again!"

"Alroight," laughed Pyro, all tiredness gone. "Let's go."

And the two men ran towards the trailers, cackling like maniacs, while the children smiled and walked home.

The next morning Magneto was flicking through the paper. When the twins came into the kitchen, they both giggled when they saw the main headline.

CIRCUS BURNT TO THE GROUND BY AN AUSTRALIAN AND A MADMAN WITH SWORDS

**Yey, I got Nightcrawler in there too, again, his age is messed up, but I couldn't exactly have a five year old doing stunts fifty feet above the ground could I? (by the way, I'm a metric system girl, so if fifty feet is a ridiculous height, change it to a reasonable one in your head)**


	5. Shopping

**Babysitting**

**Shopping**

**I haven't owned them in the past, I don't own them now and I probably won't own them in the future. Oh cruel world!**

**It has come to my attention that Wanda and Pietro never seem to go to school, so after two seconds thinking about an excuse I came up with the solution that it was the Summer holidays, so they you go, a reason!**

**This chapter is slightly based on Jack-Jack Attack, an extra on the Incredibles (it makes me laugh, the best bit of the film and it isn't even in the film! If that makes sense). I don't own them either!**

**I would once again like to thank everyone who reviewed and everyone who has added this story to their alerts/favorites. I am in a writing phase at the moment so I am going with that but once I calm down I will try and read all of your stories and comment on them.**

**Oh, and don't worry, Remy will be in this story, but later on; he's part of the bigger plot Muahahahaha!**

"Wow, it's dark in here."

A light turns on.

"Wow and now it's too bright."

"10:23 am, Saturday the 7th June, agent Nick Fury conducting the interrogation."

He brought out a pen and started writing on an official looking document in front of him.

"Name?"

"Ororo, Ororo Munroe, it's like Rose only it has an O at the beginning and an R instead of an S and an O instead of an E…"

"Just tell me about the incident."

"Well it started off like any normal sitting gig, you know with the meeting the father and all…"

**X.X.X**

Magneto put down the paper and smiled at his children.

"I won't even ask what happened yesterday, I'm just going to say that I'm very proud that you kept those two out of trouble. Since I have run out of employees to use as carer for you, I am forced to ask others, the first being an unsuspecting teenager, who should be here by now."

…

"I said, they should be here by now!"

The doorbell rang.

"Well that's better."

Muttering about young people Magneto opened the door. Outside was a girl with white blonde hair which contrasted with her African skin colour and features, the girl was about sixteen.

"Hello," said the girl. "My name is Ororo and I'm here to babysit."

"Yes, good, look after them, do what you want, I have an important meeting with the world leaders."

"Oh, sounds…important."

"Yes it is, if all goes well, I give them back their nuclear weapons and they give me an island!"

"Oh, well, good luck with that."

"Thank you." He replied striding out the door in full battle uniform and putting on his helmet.

_Obviously insane_ thought Ororo, later to be called Storm.

Shaking her head she found the children at the kitchen table.

"Good morning."

No reply.

"My name is Ororo, but you can call me Ro."

Still nothing.

Undeterred, Ororo made her way over to the cupboards and opened the doors.

"Oh my," she looked through every cupboard and the fridge and freezer. "This won't do at all."

"Alright children," she declared turning to face the twins. "There is no food in the house so we are going shopping!"

The twins just smiled.

They walked to the local Wall-Mart (1) without anything happening on the way, at all actually; the twins never spoke a word and it was beginning to scare the young sitter.

"Well, here we are," she announced when they were in the car park. "Now all we need to do is get some food for lunch and dinner today…and maybe a little treat so we can watch a film together later."

As soon as they set foot through the automatic doors, the children were off. Pietro ran over to the freezer section and started running on top of the freezers. Wanda skidded to a halt in the electronics section and started messing with all the mobile phones on display. Ororo just stood in the entrance in shock; they hadn't even said a word before now and they were acting like animals all of a sudden!

Snapping out of it, she decided to confront Pietro first, who was having great fun throwing frozen peas at everyone with his shirt off. He saw her approaching, gave her a huge grin, threw the bag of peas into the air then ran down the isle, swinging his shirt over his head in circles while making noises like an Indian in old Westerns. Ororo started running after him, skidded on the peas and landed in a huge freezer.

Groaning, she decided that on second thoughts, Wanda would probably calm down quicker than her brother. Oh how wrong she was.

As soon as she rounded the electronics isle corner, she was ambushed by CDs and DVD discs, being thrown at her like Frisbees. Quickly retreating, she took deep breaths to calm herself down. '_Don't worry Ro'_ she told herself '_they're only children, they need to be handled with care; if you show them love then they will stop'._

Taking another deep breath, she ran around the corner to see the little girl smashing all the TV screens on display, while jumping on some of the packaged sets. Horrified, the teenager sprinted towards her. When she saw her crazed babysitter Wanda laughed, overturned a stand of DVDs then ran to her left.

'_I hope I don't have to pay for the damages'_ thought an always practical, soon to be Storm.

Climbing over the debris, she started chasing Wanda again, but when she turned the corner she couldn't see either one of the twins anywhere.

"Where did they go?" she wondered out loud.

Suddenly there was a terrible screeching sound and everyone covered their ears; out of the loudspeakers came the sound of a boy trying to rap.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, Pietro,

He's the coolest cat around,

He's the king of the town,

He will please the crowd.

Pietro,

He's thin and he's mean,

He loves the colour green,

And eats ice-cream.

Pietro,

All the bitches everywhere,

Stop and stare,

Put your hands in the air for

PIETRO!"

Then a scuffling could be hared; obviously the person who owned the microphone was trying to snatch it back, a lot of cursing and yelling was coming out of the speakerphones.

Knowing where at least one of the twins were, Ororo made her way to the main desk where Pietro was having a full blown tantrum; kicking, screaming, biting and swearing very creatively. She tried to approach quietly, but the boy somehow knew she was there. He was gone in a flash. Ororo blinked, where did he go? How had he gotten away so fast? She hadn't even seen him, he had just disappeared. The shop assistant was just as confused as she was and obviously didn't take it very well because he started screaming down the microphone that there was a little ghost boy in the shop. Ororo backed away quickly as security came rushing round the corner.

When she turned around, she discovered that she was in the alcohol section, where a six year old girl was drinking out of a beer bottle and from the looks of the three empty bottles around her, it wasn't her first.

Gasping Ororo rushed over to the child she was supposed to be looking after and snatched the bottle out of her hands.

"Hey," yelled the girl indignantly. "I was drinking that!"

"Well you shouldn't be," replied Ororo. "Actually, I'm amazed that you're still conscious, a girl your age shouldn't be able to consume that much alcohol!"

"I can hold my drink, besides, I've been drinking since I was three; father used to give us gin so we would shut up and go to sleep!"

"That's terrible, I should report him to the authorities!"

"You do that, and while you're at it, get me some real beer, this tastes like piss!"

"I'm sure it doesn't, you've just had too much of it."

"It does!"

"It doesn't!"

"It does!"

"It doesn't!"

"It does!"

"It doesn't!"

"It does!"

"Fine then," Ororo took a swig. "See, it doesn't taste like piss!"

"My mistake." replied Wanda sweetly.

"Excuse me miss," a security guard taped Orroro on the shoulder. "You shouldn't drink in a supermarket and you shouldn't be drinking at your age at all!"

"What, but no…it wasn't me…it was her!" Ororo pointed to the ground, but there was no one there.

"I think you'll have to come with me miss."

"Nooooooooo! It wasn't me, I've been framed!" she screamed as the security guard started dragging her away kicking and screaming.

Just then, a huge crash could be hared through out the building.

"What the…?"

The security guard was so shocked he let go of Ororo, who quietly slipped away while his back was turned. Running towards the crash she knew who had caused it and wanted to capture them and make them pay! '_No, no wait,'_she thought. '_No negative emotions, they're just children; they can not help being BRATS!'_

She finally found the origin of the sound; it was an overturned shopping trolley, next to what used to be a huge display of Hulk figurines. Many mechanical figures were yelling "Hulk smash!", while a sheepish looking Wanda stood in the middle of the chaos. Looking at her babysitter she simply said "I don't like the Hulk."

"You are in so much trouble young lady!" panted Ororo in reply.

Wanda merely smiled an eerie smile, "Look what I can do."

Her hands started to glow a strange blue and the action figures around her rose into the air and zoomed towards the teenager. Screaming Ororo took off at full speed. '_Well,'_ she thought. '_At least I'm getting my exercise today!'_

Dodging round a corner, she let the flying figurines past her and tip toed her way back to where the twins were having a discussion. She stood in the isle one behind them and listened to what they were saying.

"Daddy will be so pleased when he sees what we can do!" squealed Wanda excitedly.

"Yeah, he'll be so pleased that he'll stay with us for at least a week, so he can teach us about being mutants." dreamt her brother.

"And then we'll work with him when we're older, so he'll never leave us again!"

'_The poor children,'_ thought Ororo. '_So they're behaving so badly because their father is never around, I'll have to tell him about this…and they're mutants, like me! That's how the boy got away and why the girl got all those Hulks to chase me.'_

"What do we do with our currant sitter?" asked Wanda.

"I've got an idea," Whispered her twin. "Well, first we…sugar…glue…dynamite…"

Ororo could only hear a few words, so leaned against the display shelf to hear them better. She still could not hear them properly, so she started climbing higher to see if that would do any good. Peeking over a box of Cheerio's on the top shelf, she could see the little boy gesturing wildly with his hands, obviously trying to portray his plan in full. Luckily they were both facing away from her, but she still could not tell what they were saying, leaning even further over, so she was practically lying on the cereal boxes, she just heard. "…cats will chase her half way to China! Or we could get some feathers and…"

"Hey, what are you doing?" yelled another security guard.

Ororo panicked and leaned back quickly so the children wouldn't spot her spying on them, so far back actually, that she pulled the sturdy shelves with her.

'_Oh no!'_ She thought, as she leapt off the shelf and into the main isle, to watch her shelf crash into the next shelf and the next and the next, until all the shelves were falling like Dominoes. "This is bad!"

"Ms Ro, what did you do?" asked the twins simultaneously in fake shock and horror.

"YOU!" she screamed pointing at the two trouble makers. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"

The twins gulped, then ran away from their crazed babysitter as fast as their little feet could carry them. When they made it out of the sliding doors, they glanced back briefly to see a manic sixteen year old running at them with her once perfect white hair sticking out in stands all over the place, her shoe heel snapped as she ran but she didn't seem to notice, her cloths were torn, she was snorting like a crazed rhinoserous and her eyes were almost glowing red.

As soon as she reached the car park, the weather started bending to her will. Lightening came crashing down behind the once again sprinting siblings, a gale swept against the running duo and hail the size of tennis balls rained down upon them. Finally the twins reached a wall and couldn't run anymore, trembling, they slowly turned around to face what they were sure was their demise.

"Now," hissed Ororo. "We are going home, you are going to behave and we are going to watch Hairspray with chocolates and cups of tea! Is that clear?"

They both nodded silently.

**X.X.X**

'You can't stop the Beeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaat!'

"Well, that was a lovely film wasn't it children?" giggled a manic babysitter.

The twins just nodded.

"Miss-Ro-I-think-I-have-a-problem." gabbled Pietro at super speed.

"What?"

"How-the-hell-do-you-turn-these-powers-off?"

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"How do I go back to normal?" asked Pietro, who felt like he was trying to speak whale. (talking really slow)

"Oh, I don't know."

"But you're a mutant too." said a worried Wanda whose hands were starting to glow.

"Well yes, but control is something you need to learn, when did you discover your powers?"

"Just then in the store."

"You mean you have just now discovered your abilities!"

"Yes."

"Oh no!" she groaned.

If they had only just discovered their powers, they would not have an ounce of control over them for at least a week! That said, Pietro disappeared and started to run around the house faster than a Cheetah, all Ororo could see was a blur. Wanda's hands started glowing and everything in the house started floating around.

"Help me!" screamed the frightened little girl.

"Don't worry," said Ororo. "I'll catch your brother!"

"No-need!" came a yell from the hall, walking out of the room, Ororo saw Pietro caught in the blue glowing light coming from his sister, even though he was suspended in mid air, his legs were still attempting to run. They were moving so fast that it looked as if he had no legs at all.

"OK, we're just going to calm down!" screamed Ororo. "Now, you two are going to sleep in the living room tonight and I am not going to sleep; I am going to watch you and make sure nothing weird happens. Won't that be FUN?"

They nodded and all the hexed items in the house, including the house itself, which had levitated about an inch out of the ground, crashed to the floor.

The sun peeked through the living room window, illuminating a dishevelled teenage girl, dosing on the settee, with a hammer and nails in one hand and a pair of ornamental tongs, that she had found by the fire place, in the other. Throughout the night she had been hammering everything to the floor when Wanda had an episode and grabbing Pietro with the tongs whenever he woke up, so he wouldn't go speeding round the house.

Just then the doorbell rang. Ororo jolted out of her dose. "Who was asleep, I wasn't asleep, not me!" she said to herself.

She opened the front door to see an extremely pale man with a blue outfit and a blue and red shredded cape on, standing on the doorstep.

She stood in the doorway with dishevelled cloths, askew hair and bags under her eyes, tongs in one hand and a hammer in the other.

"Is this the Lensherr residence?" he asked in a silky voice revealing sharp, pointed teeth.

"Y-y-yes, I'm Ororo, the BABYSITTER!"

One of her eyes started to twitch horribly.

The man looked slightly scarred and took a slight step back. "Well, hello Ororo, I'm…"

"A replacement, thank heavens you came!" she noticed a large S on the back of a clipboard he was carrying. "What does the S stand for?"

"For…sitter, yes, sitter, I was going to have the initials for 'babysitter', but then I'd be walking around with a big BS and I couldn't do that; it would just look stupid!"

**X.X.X**

"And you believed him."

"The girl was making the house move! Have you ever been inside a moving house before Mr Fury?"

"Did you tell anyone else about this? Your parents?"

"Nah, they wouldn't believe me, but you believe me, don't you Mr Fury?"

"Sure kid."

"I just wish I could forget the whole thing."

"You will kid, you will."

**The only American shop I know about**

**Oh and the plot is now starting.**

**I was going to have a chapter after this where Charles babysits the twins, but the new character fitted into the ending of this one perfectly, even the S is the same as in the film! I am so happy about that, small things make me manically happy for ages. This is also my longest chapter yet, on any of my fics so yay.**

**And I got my GCSE results on Tuesday, I'm so happy; four As, two Bs and even four A*s!**


	6. Sinister Goings On

Babysitting

Sinister Goings On

I am so sorry that it took so long to update but I'm starting sixth form on Wednesday and at an entirely new school too. So I've been shopping for a suit, do you know how hard it is to buy a plain black suit? Three days it took me! Three days! All my school stuff cost over £200 and I had to buy half myself! Anyway, rant over, here's the chapter, I hope you like it, I'm not as happy about it as the other chapters; I knew what I wanted to happen, but the words just didn't come to me. So anyway, please review and tell me if it's OK or if I should just burn my computer.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed and I'm so sorry for spelling Storms name wrong, apparently it's Ororo and not Orroro (simple mistake to make though) and I'll sort it out as soon as I can be bothered. But anyway thank you all, you are all my friends!

Wanda woke to the sound of the front door slamming and a muffled yell of "Good luck; you're going to need it!"

She rolled over, "Pie, your hair's on fire."

"What, huh, what?" he sat up and his hands flew to his head. "Oh, morning."

"I heard the babysitter running out the house."

"Mission accomplished."

They high fived each other. Then the door opened to reveal the strangest looking man they had ever seen. He had deathly pale skin, a strange looking blue suit, black hair, red lips and a red diamond on his forehead and a blue cape with red underneath that was torn into strips but in stead of the strips just falling down they seemed to defy gravity and arched in a curve first. (1)

"Hello children," said this strange man in a metallic (I couldn't think of another way of describing it) voice. "Your father is negotiating for an island and he won't be back for a few days, but I am here to…take care of you." He smiled revealing needle like teeth. "My name is Sinister, Mr Sinister."

"Hi," said Wanda, merrily bouncing up to him. "I'm Wanda and this is Pietro. Come on, I'll show you round the house!" taking Mr Sinister's hand Wanda dragged him out of the room and round the house, keeping up a running commentary as they went.

"This is the kitchen but daddy calls it a breeding ground for bacteria, whatever that means," Sinister eyed the dirty dishes in the sink that did indeed hold an entire eco system of mould on each one. "Here's the playroom where we gave the cat man a make over and played Barbie with the two crazy people. Ohhhh, we'll have to play those things with you later!"

"I don't think so." Said Sinister determined that he would do no such thing.

Wanda merely shrugged then pulled him up the stairs. "This is mine and Pietro's room, my side is painted red and his side is painted blue, he wanted pink but daddy said something about 'no son of mine' and so it's blue." Sinister smirked at this.

"Here's daddy's room," she opened a door to a room naturally filled with metal; the only non metallic items in the room were his cloths, his mattress, his bed sheets and pillows.

"This is the bathroom," she pointed to a white tiled bathroom "And this is the spare room, daddy wanted me to have it but I didn't want to leave Pie all alone; he's scared of the dark and we like to share dreams."

"Share dreams?"

"Yes, sometimes, when we want to, we sleep next to each other with our foreheads touching and we dream together about the same thing. But daddy doesn't like us doing that; he says it looks bad. Hey, what does incest mean?"

"Why?"

"Cause that's what daddy says people will think we are, so what does it mean?"

"It," he looked at her innocent face. "Doesn't matter."

"Oh…well; that's our house! So what are we going to do, I know, lets play house! I'll be the mummy and you can be the daddy and Pietro can be the baby…"

"NO, no, we're not going to do that I'm afraid," Wanda stared at him questioningly as he brother slouched up the stairs to join them. "We are going to go on a little trip on my jet. Won't that be exciting?"

"Cool!" exclaimed Pietro, instantly perking up. "Can I fly it?"

"No, I don't think that will ha…"

"Mr Sinstre?" asked Wanda, pulling on his cloak.

"Actually it's Sinister."

"Oh, Spinster…"

"Sinister."

"Skinner?" suggested Pietro.

"No, Sinister."

"Actually I think Spinller has a nicer sound to it." mused Wanda out loud.

"No way," disagreed her twin. "Mr Scapller is way better."

"Spinller."

"Scappler."

"Spinller!"

"Actually, I would prefer Scapller to Spinller, it sounds much more threatening." said Nathanial (2) before shaking his head. "Wait, what am I doing? My name is SINISTER, all right?"

"OK." nodded the twins.

"Good, now come on; to my jet."

"Mr Scappler?" started Wanda.

"You know what," Sinister said exasperatedly. "Why don't you just call me Mr S?"

"Oh, Mr S?"

"Yes Wanda?"

"Why are we going on your jet?"

"Because my computer found you. You two, out of the entire world!" he smiled at them then asked in a casual voice. "Have either of you found out you could do things that you couldn't before?"

They looked at each other before nodding their heads.

"And what can you do?"

"I started to go really fast."

"And my hands started to glow and the house began to move."

"How very interesting." murmured Sinister.

The three of them climbed up the ramp and into Sinister's jet. Inside the walls were purple and the floor was a green colour although you could hardly tell because strange looking moss like plants were everywhere; climbing up the walls, running along the floor and creeping up the control panel. In front of which stood a very technical looking chair with wires and tubes sticking out of its back.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh." chorused the twins in a very good imitation of the green aliens in Toy Story.

"Yes," smiled Sinister. "Now, sit in those seats; we're about to go on a little flight."

Wanda and Pietro sat on two seats covered in the moss like substance which instantly grew along their laps to make a kind of seat belt.

"Hold on children." Called Sinister as the jet rose into the air and headed to the south.

The first half hour of the trip passed without incident; the children were engrossed with looking out of the window. Sinister let himself be lulled into a false sense of security. _This is going to be easy,_ he thought _I much prefer working with children than with adults; they cause less trouble._

Pietro tapped Wanda on the shoulder.

"Wanda, I need to pee." He whined.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?"

"I don't know. Ask Mr S if there's a bathroom."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Because he scares me."

"You're smarter than I thought you were."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh come on. It's obvious isn't it?" Her twin just stared blankly at her. "Mr S is a vampire!"

"What? No way!"

"Yes way."

"How do you know?"

"Have you seen him? He's got pale skin, sharp teeth and wears a cape."

"But his skin doesn't sparkle in the sun light!"

"That's only in Twilight and that's shit! They're not vampires; they can't even fly for Christ's sake!"

"You know how much I hate vampire films Wanda; you're just trying to scare me."

"Not at all. Where do you think he's taking us?" she asked casually.

"The…Supermarket?"

"In a jet!" she snorted. "No way, he's taking us to his gothic castle so he can drink our blood and turn me into a vampire."

"Wh-wh-what's he g-g-gonna do to m-m-me?" Pietro asked, shivering as he looked at the back of the pilot's chair.

"Oh, he'll make you a servant and hypnotise you to do stuff for him, or he might feed you to his hell hounds or he might just drain your blood and throw your body out of the jet as we fly over the Atlantic Ocean or something."

Pietro grew even paler than usual and stared to rock back and forth clutching his stomach.

"How do we find out if he's a vampire or not?"

"Well, you could get a mirror and see if he has a reflection," suggested his twin. "Or you could see what happens if he touches a cross."

"Yeah, sure because the son of Eric Lensherr, sole member of his family to survive the holocaust carries around about eighty crosses with him. Seriously Wanda what are you gonna have me do next? Throw Holy water at him?"

"Hey, you asked and I answered," he sat trembling next to her giving her his puppy dog eyes and she sighed. "Here, take my necklace; it has a cross on it, try that."

"OK," mumbled Pietro as he stood up. "Wish me luck." He started to walk towards Mr Sinister when he suddenly rushed back. "Wanda, what do I do if he is a vampire?"

"You have to steak him through the heart."

"With what?"

"A stake."

"Where do I find one of those?"

"Hmmmm," she thought for a second. "I suppose you could use a pencil; that worked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

"Here I go."

Pietro crept up to the back of Sinister's chair while Wanda watched curiously from the side lines. Gulping Pietro gripped his sister's cross in his hand.

Sinister was just piloting the jet over a rough patch over a city in Alabama which had some particularly tall sky scrapers when he was stabbed in the arm by a metallic cross.

"Ouch!" he yelled rubbing the spot where the cross had been where a bruise was instantly starting to form.

"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Wanda, you were right!" screamed Pietro and he took out a pencil and proceeded to try and kill sinister with it.

"What the…what are you…get off me you freak!" yelled a struggling and startled Sinister while wrestling with a six year old.

"Stop it Pietro!" Wanda screamed. "I want to be a vampire; you can't ruin my chances for me!"

With that she leapt on her brother. The three proceeded to struggle thus until an alarm sound brought them all down to earth, literally. The jet was in a nose dive headed towards a sky scraper at about 100 miles per hour (3). All of them looked at each other and screamed. Pietro and Wanda looked at each other screaming, Wanda and Sinister looked at each other screaming, Sinister and Pietro turned to each other screaming and they all face the windscreen screaming as Sinister took control of the plane and pulled the plane out of the dive, just missing the building. (4)

All of them collapsed into their chairs and sat there, panting heavily for about five minutes before Sinister sat up straight.

"We're here," he said happily, relief evident in his voice. "We're finally here!"

The jet landed outside Sinister's base. The twins looked out of the window; they seemed to be in some sort of swamp.

"This is a new base I built," said Sinister while leading them through the door. "I chose the swamps of New Orleans because hardly anyone ever comes here."

They walked into a modern looking building that was practically invisible from the outside because the entire thing was covered in more of the strange moss like substance, but inside it looked like the most sophisticated hospital in the world. Everything was white; the walls, the ceiling and the floor, complicated looking machines with more buttons than the jet's cockpit were lining the walls, computers and lab equipment stood on work tops all around the room and phials of bubbling concoctions and strange looking experiments were set up everywhere. Sinister smiled round at his monstrous lab where he performed some of the violist experiments the world had ever seen.

"Welcome to my home," he said simply. "Now, Pietro, would you come and sit on this table for me?" he patted one of the many metal tables in the middle of the room invitingly.

"OK." Replied Pietro and nervously made his way over to Sinister who lifted him onto the table.

"I'm going to take some blood now." He picked up needle and held out the boys arm.

"How much blood?" asked Pietro worriedly.

"Oh just a couple of phials." he was about to do it when.

"Will I die?"

"No." he tried again.

Wanda was wondering around the lab while this conversation was taking place, she looked at the bubbling liquids and the strange experiments.

"I have this friend who has a cousin whose sister's nephew had a grandma who died from having her blood taken."

"Well that won't happen to you." He smiled and tried again.

"Why?"

"Because," sighed Sinister, giving up for a moment. "Because I'm not taking that much blood."

Wanda saw a phial of clear bubbling liquid. _Mmmm; lemonade_ she thought as she took a swig. _Yuch, that's not nice lemonade_ tuning round she noticed something out of the corner of her eye, she turned her head and noticed that she had a tail, like a dinosaur. _Uh oh, well that can't be good._

"Are you a vampire?"

"What?"

"Wanda said on the plane that you were a vampire because you have pointy teeth and pale skin."

_How do I get rid of it, I know!_ She thought triumphantly. _I'll drink the antidote._ Not knowing which bottle was the antidote she went round the laboratory and started sipping every concoction she could find. She ended up with antlers, seventeen ears, a rat's nose, very long fingernails, angles wings, x-ray vision and sharp teeth.

"Well I'm not, OK?"

"Are you sure? Because Wanda knows everything there is to know about vampires."

"That's nice."

"One of our first babysitters, about a year ago said Wanda had an unhealthy obsession."

"Right."

"Wanda bit her and she ran off screaming, a lot of our babysitters do that."

Finally, a stumbling Wanda, unbalance by the new limbs and alterations to her body, had gone through every drop of liquid in the lab. She opened her mouth to call Mr S but instead of words she just bleated like a goat.

"How many babysitters have you had?"

"Well when we started getting them after mum died we had one a week, but we've perfected it so that now it's one a day."

Wanda became frustrated and when Wanda Maximoff became frustrated she became upset and when she became upset she became angry and when she became angry all hell broke loose. He hands started to glow blue and everything in the room that wasn't attached to the ground started to move around, machines melted, glass silently shattered, work surfaces disintegrated and the phials of liquid turned into animals. (5)

"Alrighty then." he was about to push the needle into the boys arm when he noticed Wanda.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed. "NO, what are you doing? My experiments! My life's work! Ruined!"

Pietro had climbed down and was staring as one of the floating Bunsen burners set a floating piece of paper on fire which travelled around the room, spreading the flame.

"Bahhhhh!" shrieked Wanda pointing towards the fire.

"RUN!" screamed Pietro and sped to grab his sister before zooming out of the burning building. Through a window the twins could see a weeping Sinister stamping his feet, throwing things around and going red in the face before ending his tantrum and curling into a ball in the corner, sucking his thumb as his lab burned around him.

"Well great," said Pietro as they both walked away. "We don't know where we are, my sister is a weird animal thing and now I need clean underwear. Brilliant!"

"Bahhhhhhh."

"I know, I want to go home too."

"Bah."

"How should I know if it wears off?"

"Bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"Look, I don't know; we're lost OK, I don't know where we are and I don't know anyone who can help us!"

"Remy'll help petite une." (6)

(1) It's the Sinister from the original animated series, you can't beat Sinister!

(2) Sinister's real name

(3) I don't know how fast a plane would actually fall out of the sky but 100 sounded like an impressive number to me

(4) A bit out of Austin Power's Goldmember, when the three of them are in the mini (best car in the world)

(5) I like to think of it like the Phoenix in the third X-Men movie, when she's doing all that cool stuff in the last battle (did anyone else notice that she's wearing the Scarlet Witch's outfit from Evolution in that scene, coat and all, an outrage!)

(6) Little ones (I used a translation website, so if it's wrong don't blame me)


	7. Help From A Cajun

Babysitting

Help from a Cajun.

Whew, finally updating! School really takes a while to get used to after a long holiday, especially when you are starting a new one and I also had MAJOR writer's block; I just couldn't think of what to do with Gambit. Any who, I know a lot of you have been begging me for this next chapter so I really do hope it lives up to your expectations.

This fic of mine has been getting a lot of reviews so I'm happy, unlike my Harry Potter fic, I'm so unpopular in the Potter world!

Anyway here goes nothing, by popular demand, ta da da daaaa!

"I thought that when you said you'd help us, you'd help us." said Pietro reasonably while tracking through the swamps of New Orleans.

"I did."

"Then excuse me if I'm wrong, but we seem to be walking around IN CIRCLES!"

"You excused."

"What?"

"You said to excuse you if you were wrong and you were so I am."

"Huh?"

"What was that?"

"Bahhh."

"I agree with Wanda, I'm confused too."

"You can understand da petite Chèvre fille?"

"What?"

The Cajun sighed. "You," he pointed at Pietro. "Can understand," his face brightened like he had suddenly had an epiphany. "Da small," he squeezed his fingers close together. "Goat girl." He finished by pointing and the still deformed Wanda who tried to bite his finger; she was getting annoyed with the guy.

"Well of course I can," said Pietro, equally as patronisingly. "She," he pointed at Wanda." "Is my," he then pointed at himself. "Twin." He paused for a moment, trying to think of a gesture that would incorporate twin and eventually settled for pointing at himself then holding his fingers like a cross and then holding two of them up to make it look like he was saying 'me times two'.

Wanda didn't like the way they were talking about her so she kicked her 'other half'.

"Ow!" yelled Pietro, rubbing his leg.

Remy laughed. "Hahaha, seems like da petite fille don 'preciate being talked 'bout like that!"

"Shut up." mumbled Pietro.

He glared at their guide in anger.

"Why are you acting all grown up anyway," he demanded. "You're only a few years older that us!"

It was true, the Gambit we all know and love is in his twenties, but the man guiding the twins through the swamp was only about nine. His hair was long, long enough to tie in a pony tail which he did, he wore a trench coat but being small it was way to big for him and he had to roll up the sleeves to about half their length so he could use his hands and his eyes, even though starting to grow dark around the whites, hadn't quite made it to the trademark red on black yet.

"Well I don' care what you think, I don' hear your sister complainin' 'bout Remy!" same old Gambit, just in miniature.

"That's because she can't speak!"

"Bahhhhh!"

"Exactly." they both agreed.

"Wait, what?" asked Remy.

"I agreed with her saying that she agrees with me."

"No, no, no, I definitely heard her saying tat she 'grees wit' me!"

"What, no way, she agrees with me; she hates you!"

"None, she 'grees wit me; she loves me."

"Hates you."

"Loves me."

"Hates you."

"Loves me."

"Hates you!"

"Loves me!"

"BAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed to break up the pointless argument.

"What!" they both yell.

She merely points behind them and they turn to see a town with a festival going on. There were multi coloured lights everywhere, lively music playing, colourful processions in the streets with crowds of happy, singing and cheering people everywhere.

"Merde!" whispered Remy.

"Bahhh." agreed Wanda in awe.

"What is it?" Pietro breathed as if under a spell.

"Mardi gra!"

After about ten minutes the children were walking about the city in complete wonder, starring at the vendors selling all kinds of food, at the stalls selling masks, hats and costumes and at the parade itself with acrobats, jugglers and men on stilts making their way slowly through the crowds.

"This is amazing." sighed Pietro.

"Hey nice costume!" one man said to Wanda.

"Bahh." she thanked him.

"Yeah," said Remy going up to the man and putting his hand on his shoulder. "It's really sometin in it. She bin workin on it for months!"

"You can tell." said the man , he gave the children a strange look then looked around him. "Shouldn't you be with your parents?"

"We are," replied Remy swiftly. "They just over there getting us drinks, we supposed to be getting a table, au revoir!"

He led Wanda and Pietro away.

"So, who wants somethin' to eat?" he asked.

"I would, but we haven't got any money." pointed out Pietro.

"We do now!" Remy pulled out a wallet.

"Where'd you get that?"

"From our friend back there." He said pointing back to where the man was.

"Cool!" yelled Pietro. "Can you teach me, please!"

"Sure," smiled Remy, happy that he had impressed the speed demon. "Now what you gotta remember 'bout pinck poketin' is that de mark is stupid and don' suspect kids none, specially small kids. Look, I'll show you."

Remy turned around and tugged on the coat of the woman behind him, she looked round to see a small boy in an overlarge coat on the verge of tears.

"What's the matter hon?" she asked concerned.

"I can' find my mama," he sniffed. "She here somewhere, but I can' see her!"

"Oh you poor little lamb," she cooed. "Don't worry; I'll find your mum." She straightened up and looked over the crowd, as she was doing thing this, Remy glanced at the twin to make sure they were watching and took the woman's purse out of her hand bag then ran into the crowd before she noticed.

When the twins caught up with him they found him talking to a blond girl about his age. The girl wore an old fashioned Victorian dress that was white with blue lining and had her hair done up in ringlets. She was giggling while Remy was flirting.

"So den I went to find dese kids wanderin round in de swamp, all lost so I thought to myself; Remy, you gotta help dem, or dey won' survive…"

Pietro cleared his throat to make their presence known.

"Oh der you are," said Remy, turning to see them. "Guys this is B…B…what was it again chere?"

"Bella, _Bella_ Donna Boudreaux," she said as if she were royalty introducing her self to peasants. "Nice to meet ya."

She started as she was called by a man in the crowd. "Oh, I have ta go; my papa's callin me, see ya round Remy!" she winked at him then walked off.

"Do you know her?" Pietro asked disgustedly.

"No, never seen her before, but I think I'll get to know her _very well_, if you know what I mean."

"No."

Remy sighed. "Me nither, it's jus somthin Jean-Luc says."

"Who's he?"

"My kinda father."

"Oh, OK, so when do we get to try stealing."

"Right now mon friend." announced Remy. "First, observe the mark." He pointed to a man with a brightly coloured purple suit on and who had the face paint of a clown. ""Den look for his weakness," he pointed to a woman at his side with a red and black skin tight costume on who was holding a huge teddy bear and laughing in a very childish way. "Right, what I would suggest in this situation is for all three of us to work together. So, silver boy, you talk to the woman, goat girl you cause a scene by arguing or faintin or somethin while I grab de clowns wallet."

"Alright," said Pietro. "You got that Wanda?"

"Bahhhh." said Wanda who had only been half listening to the plan.

"Right, lets go mes amis."

Pietro sped up to behind the couple, he just hared a snatch of, "Harley, if you beg for a pony ride one more time, I'm going to tie you to the bloody pony and drop you both out of a plane!" before stepping in front of them and 'accidentally' bashing into her. "Oh, sorry," he gushed. "I didn't see you there, I'm soooo sor…"

"Why you clumsy little fool!" growled the man and grabbed Pietro by the front of his collar and lifted him into the air. "Watch where you're going; are you blind or just plain stupid? I should just poke your eyes out with hot pokers and see if it'll make any difference!"

Remy started to look worried, Pietro looked like he was about to cry, the woman, Harley, look horrified and Wanda looked angry.

Sure enough her hands started to glow along with everything in the near vicinity. Everyone apart from the man and the boy noticed and started to worry even more.

"Mr J," said Harley tugging on his jacket. "Mr J."

"Not now Harley, now when I'm through with you boy…"

"Mr J."

"Not now Harley!"

"Mr J!"

"WHAT!" he screamed at her.

"Everything's blue."

"BLUE? What are you babbling about?" he looked round and saw impossible things happening everywhere he looked. Lampposts were bending and twisting, walls were melting, objects were changing colour and one man was even running up the side of a building. "What on earth's going on?"

"GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BROTHER, CRUSTY!"

"Crusty?"

"The clown off the Simpson's Mr J."

"Oh, what? Who compared me to that amateur?" he looked round to see a six year old with black her, blue eyes and glowing hands. "You, you're doing this?"

"That's right; now get your hands off my TWIN!"

Pietro was instantly dropped. "Have you ever considered a life of crime in a town called Gotham little girl? The buildings are lousy, the local law enforcement is rubbish, but the pay's good."

"No thank you," she replied sweetly. "I don't like clowns."

With that she twisted probability so the two citizens of Gotham flew into the air and disappeared into the sky with a twinkle of light.

"Well that was…" Remy trailed off.

"Yeah." agreed Pietro. "It was."

"Hey," said Wanda, making the other two jump. "I've got my body back!"

"That's great petit," congratulated Remy. "But we gotta move, now; I hear police cars and I'm on records, records! Jean Luc'll kill me if he has to bail me outta jail 'gain."

The three of them disappeared, yet again into the crowd of celebrating people.

"Now what?" asked Pietro.

"I'm hungry." said Wanda, clutching onto her brother for support as though weak from hunger.

"Well Remy can help you there Cherie." He reached into his trench coat and took out the previously stolen wallet.

They went into a café and got into the line. "So what you want," asked Remy, sliding in between the twins. "You can have anything you like chere, Remy'll get it for you," Pietro shot him a disgusted look; couldn't this guy help himself, did he have to flirt with every girl he came across, was it his default setting? "What ever you like," Pietro rolled his eyes. "Money's not a problem." Remy slipped his arm around her waist and Pietro snapped. He leapt on the Cajun and started bashing his head against the floor, of course Pietro was a six year old and not a very strong one at that so he didn't do any serious damage, but it still hurt.

"Don't. You. Ever. Do. That. Again!" he yelled, adding a shove of Remy's head with every word.

"Owww," moaned Remy. "I hate meetin the brothers! They worse than the fathers!"

"Hey you!" yelled the café owner. "Get off that boy; the police are on their way!"

"Oh oh, Pietro come on; we've got to go, now!" yelled Wanda.

"Ahhhhhh!" screamed her brother when he hared the sirens, he got of their previous guide, grabbed his twin's arm and zipped out of the shop in the blink of an eye.

"Owwwwwww." moaned Remy as he sat up, he reached up to rub his head and found that he had a speck of blood on his hand. "JEAN LUC!" he wailed before he started to cry heavily. He cried when the police arrived, carried on until the ambulance arrived and cried even harder until he got home and Tante Mattie gave him a cookie.

"You know what Harl?"

"What Mr J?""

"If I ever meet that girl again I am going to persuade her to help us in Gotham, with her power the Bat would be helpless in seconds."

"But where would we ever see her again? I doubt she's gonna waltz up to the lair, or dance around a museum at night, or, or, or be our new cell mate in Arkham Asylum. Ha ha ha imagine that, a kid! In Arkham!"

"Ohhhhhhh, SHUT UP HARLEY!"

"OK, but can I ask just one more teensy weensy little question, _please._"

"Alright, what?"

"How are we gonna get off the roof of Wayne Manor?"

"I'm thinking about it."

**Author's note: **Wow, I finally finished this chapter; it has taken me soooooo long. I'm very sorry; I don't think it was my best and I'm sorry if I get hate mail because of the way I portrayed Gambit but oh well, it's done now. I'm very glad about a few things though!

I got Pietro into a fight, I realised that Wanda was doing all of the fighting, even though I think she's the strong one, I thought Pietro should get a time to shine and why not against Remy?

I got my two favourite DC characters to appear, some might think I'm insane because I like Harley, but I think she's fun so there.

Nine year old Gambit flirted with a young Bella then made a naughty joke but didn't know what it meant. Awwwwww.

I hinted about the future in Harley's last joke there about seeing Wanda in Arkham, I have always personally thought that was the Asylum she ended up in so I might write a fic about it in the future, I know one person started one but abandoned it after the second chapter so I might do one of my own. What do you think? Would anyone like that?

Thanks for reading!


	8. How Enemies Are Made

Babysitting

How Enemies Are Made

I own everything as I am Stan Lee in disguise as a teenage girl, Muahahahaha!

OK next chappie up, oh I've posted a list of the top 10 fanfics I have read on my profile page thing. If you like this story then you must read numbers 2 and 3 on my list as they are the funniest fics I have **ever** read. Number 1 is a season 5 fic and is one of my favourites (I love the way Pyro's portrayed in it). If my list entices you into reading any of them please let me know via reviews as I would like to know if it's useful to anyone!

The song in this is sung to the tune of 'Born Free' (most of you will know it as the song the penguins sing at the beginning of Madagascar) and the chorus is sung kind of to the tune of 'I'm a believer' (the song by The Monkeys but is sung by Donkey at the end of Shrek).

Th-th-th-th-that's all folks

MEGLOMANIAC THREATNES THE WORLD

MAGNETO HIJACS NEUCLEAR WEAPONS AND HOLDS THE WORLD TO RANSOM

MAD MAGS WANTS AN ISLAND FOR MUTANTS

The news headlines the following day had the entire human race petrified, had most mutants cheering but had no affect whatsoever on the two children wondering through the streets of New Orleans.

"Pietro, I need the bathroom."

"Well go in the bushes."

"No way! Someone might see me!"

"Well I'll stand guard for you."

"You might peek."

"Ewwwww, why would I do that?"

"I don't know, you just might."

"Well I promise I won't OK?"

"OK."

"Girls," muttered Pietro Maximoff as he stood guard by the bushes. "Think they're so great, I don't get grown ups, why would they be interested in girls anyway? Why do they date and why do they get married; girls are stupid and they stink, when I grow up I'm never going to have a girlfriend, ever!"

"Haha, you're never gonna have a girlfriend!" laughed a voice to his left, Pietro whipped round to see a boy of his own age with blond hair, dark skin and baggy cloths.

"Who the hell are you?" snapped Pietro defensively.

"I'm Evan," replied the boy. "And you're gay." He sang in a mocking voice.

"What?"

"You just said you'll never have a girlfriend man, that means you'll have boyfriends instead!"

"No it doesn't, go away, you smell of poo and why is your hair that weird shade of blond, I mean what's that all about?"

"I like my hair and if you can't think of a come back then you're an idiot!"

"Hey," panicked Pietro. "I'm good at come backs; I'm the come back king and anyway I never _want_ a girlfriend, you'll just never _get_ one!"

"Hey I could get a girlfriend easily if I wanted to!" yelled Evan.

"Huh, please, the only girl who'll ever love you is your mother and that's only 'cause she has to!"

"Man, why am I arguing with a looser like you anyway; I could get a girlfriend much easier than you ever could."

"Ohhh, sounds like a challenge. All right then, you're on, whoever gets a girlfriend first is the winner."

"Fine but we get to choose who each other is going to go out with."

"Fine, the girl you have to ask out is…" Pietro thought hard, in order to win he would have to choose a girl who would never go out with Evan, someone incorruptible, someone he knew well. "My sister, Wanda."

"What, your sister? Man, that's cheating!"

"You said we each get to choose for the other."

"Fine, it's my turn to choose. You have to date…" Evan thought hard, he really didn't know any girls and the ones that he did know lived in New York and as he was on holiday with his parents none of them were there. He looked around desperately and spotted a girl sitting on a park bench. She was acting strangely; she was just starring straight ahead, she sat stiffly with her back straight and had a scowl on her face. She was dressed in a grey running suit and had short mousey brown hair. Perfect! "Her." He said, pointing to the girl.

"Her? Do you know her?"

"Nope, but if you want to win you're gonna have to."

"OK, let's go."

"Fine!"

They both turned to face their prospective girls and gulped; this was going to be hard!

Pietro headed towards the girl on the bench, she did nothing. He stood next to her, she did nothing. He sat down, she did nothing. He slid further towards her, she did nothing. He moved closer again, again there was no reaction. He needed her to talk but there was literally no more space left between them that he could breach so he just sat there, shoulder to shoulder with this strange, unresponsive girl and starred straight ahead just like she did; he was trying to see what was so interesting but couldn't see a thing.

He sighed; this was going to take a lot of effort.

Meanwhile Evan had sauntered over to the bushes were Wanda was; Pietro hadn't mentioned anything to Evan about what Wanda was doing and so he was not prepared for what he saw on the other side.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" he screamed.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she screamed.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he yelled.

"Who the hell are you!"

"I'm Evan," then, remembering he had to ask her out. "What's up?" he asked in what he though was a cool and sexy voice, while smiling at her with his eyebrows raised and nodding his head in a manly way.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you nodding your head and staring at me weird?"

"I'm not staring at you weird, it's just, well I, you're meant to…it doesn't matter."

"OK, Evan is it?" she asked in a sweet voice. He nodded. "Well, Evan, if you don't mind, I'm kind of busy right now so would you mind LEAVING ME THE HELL ALONE!"

"OK."

He walked off and thought, well he might have lost that battle, but the war was far from over!

"Sooooo," said Pietro eventually. "What's your name?"

"I have not been designated a title yet." the girl replied quickly.

"OK, well where do you live?"

"I live in many different bases; they like to move me around a lot for security."

"Rrrrrrright, can I ask you a question?"

"You are about to anyway and I am under orders not to terminate anyone on this field exercise so I have no way of stopping you."

Pietro stared at her. "Why do you talk like a robot?"

The girl looked at him. "Pardon me?"

"Well you always talk really weirdly, like, I don't know, like you have no emotions or something."

"I do not."

"What?"

"Have emotions."

"What, why?"

"Weapons do not feel."

"But you're not a weapon."

"Yes I am; I am weapon X-23."

"Sure." He sighed again; what was wrong with this girl? He obviously couldn't have a natural conversation with her, so what else could he do. "Hey, want to play?"

When Wanda emerged from the bushes it was to find Evan waiting for her with a rose in his mouth and a box of chocolates in a hart shaped box in his hands. He knelt on the ground in front of her, took the rose out of his mouth and offered them both to her.

"Wanda," he said. "I adore you, my entire being yearns for you, my heart beats only for you, these lip are meant only for you lips, my eyes see only too gaze at you, my…"

"What. The. _Hell._ Are you talking about?"

"I'm trying to declare my undying love here!" he huffs. "Now where was I? Oh yeah. Wanda, my hands are meant only for your hands, when I…"

"Where did you get this from anyway?"

"From and old film I saw on TV. When I gaze into your eyes, an overwhelming urge surges through my veins and my lust for you almost makes me loose control. All I desire is to feel your lips crushing my lips, to feel your body melt into mine, to feel your bosom…"

"Is this going to take much longer," she sighed. "Because I have to get going."

"Where are you headed my love?"

"To get something to eat and I'm not your love."

Evan pretended like he hadn't hared the last remark. "Then I shall escort you my dear, anywhere you want to go, I want to go, no distance is too far, no journey too great; why I would travel to the moon if it would give you one once of…Wanda?" he looked around her and saw her wandering off. "Wait my love; I will hasten to your side!"

"What are we playing?"

"For the tenth time woman, we're playing tag."

"Oh, alright, how do you complete the task of 'Tag'?"

"What? It's not a task, it's a game."

"A game?"

"Yeah, you know; you play it for fun."

"Fun? I am not permitted to have such an experience."

"Why not?"

"Fun indicates an exhilarating emotion, emotions make you appear individual, weapons are not individuals they are tools of destruction to be controlled by the person who created them. If I start having emotions I will start to be discontent with my position, I will work against my creator and loose my purpose in life."

"Huh? Well this is how you play anyway, I'm on and you have to run away from me…"

"Evan, I'm serious if you keep on doing that I will have to kill you and dance on your grave."

"Oh, sorry my sweet darling," Evan stopped reading the poem he had written for her, about how beautiful she was and what she meant to him. "Do you want me to sing you the song I wrote for you?"

"No."

"How about seeing the dance I made for you?"

"No."

"What about the picture I painted of you?"

"NO, how did you even find time to do _that_? No; it doesn't matter I don't want you doing anything, got it! I don't want you singing, I don't want you dancing, I don't want you doing anything!"

"All right my rose petal; I am quite content just sitting here, gazing at your perfect face."

...

"Evan."

"Yes angel whom has captured my heart."

"Get the hell out of my face!" Wanda shoved Evan, who had been inches away from her, off his seat.

"Of course," he struggled for another thing he could call her. "My sweet," to his left he saw a field of animals "cow of," he saw some litter on the floor. "Sweet wrappers."

"Your _what?_" she hissed dangerously.

"I'm sorry my Tulip of July," 'damn,' he thought. 'Why couldn't I have thought of that earlier?' "I was distracted by other things but now my attention is wholly with you and to prove that I will sing you my song!"

He reached round his back and pulled out a little guitar which, because he was six, looked full sized on him.

"Where do you get all this stuff from?" asked Wanda.

"I'll explain later, hem hem.

Wanda, you make the grass grow,

You make the wind blow,

You make my hair flow, in a summer's breeze.

Wanda, you make the moon shine,

You make the sun rise,

You make things with Thyme, that's a flower.

Wanda, you make the birds sing,

You make the bee sting,

You make bling bling, all the time."

Wanda grown and put her head in her hands as passes by stopped and stared at them, as Evan reached the chorus.

"Wanda,

I love ya;

You know I do!

You know I'd do anything for you.

Wanda,

I need ya,

You're like a fatal disease!

That's why I'm getting on my knees."

She wanted to melt into the background as it felt to her like the whole town had turned up to hear the song about her.

"Wanda, you're like a black hole,

You captivate my soul,

You make sausage rolls, like no one can.

Wanda, you're better than Halloween,

You're by far the queen,

You took my tambourine, but I don't mind.

Wanda, you do not smell like poo,

I caught you on the loo,

When you sneeze you say achoo, only like you could."

She could see the crowd muttering and pointing and some people recording them!

"Wanda,

I love ya;

You know I do!

You know I'd do anything for you.

Wanda,

I need ya,

You're like a fatal disease!

That's why I'm sitting on my knees."

Evan finish on an ear piercingly high note. He stood there, looking at the audience who were staring back at him, the silence stretched on.

"WOOOOOOOOW, YAY, GO BOY!"

The crowd cheered and clapped and started throwing money towards them. Evan beamed and did a few bows. As this was happening Wanda decided to slip away but to no avail for she was spotted by her stalker who quickly joined her and they ran away together.

"So basically all I have to do is run you down, place my hand on you and say 'Tag, you are it'?"

"Yup," sighed Pietro as he had gone through those simple rules about eight times. "Now, let's play."

He ran up to her. "Tick, you're it!" He sped away, or from his point of view walked annoyingly slowly away. X-23 immediately stared at his retreating back.

"Target located," she muttered to herself. "Initiating capture." She ran very quickly and very silently towards Pietro who couldn't hear her so jumped out of his skin when he felt a punch on his shoulder. He fell on the ground and rolled over, clutching the injured arm to face his attacker. She kicked him in the face, sat on his stomach, directly on his diaphragm, winding him and slapped him in the face. "Tag, you are it!"

"Owwww, what the hell you psycho!"

"Do I run away now?"

"Do whatever the hell you want; I'm getting away from you. No bet is worth this much pain!"

With that Pietro picked himself up and sped away at top sped to find his twin.

"But I just played the game." mumbled X-23 sadly. A single tear dropped to the ground.

Evan was half way through his 'I Love Wanda' dance when Wanda stopped him

"Daniels," spat the afore mentioned girl. "Why do you insist on pestering me? Do you really hate me that much?"

"Of course I don't hate you my pet; you are my love, my cheese sufflet, my little cabbage!"

"You're really running low on things to call me aren't you?"

"Yes I am."

"Well why don't you go home and think of fifty, no wait a thousand more nicknames, then come back and call me them."

"I think not my love as I am far from home."

"Really," Wanda feigned shock and disbelief. "I never would have guessed; you have such a good Southern accent!"

"I know, I know, but alas, I am from the great New York City."

This caught her attention. "You're kidding; I come from there too!"

"Then it is fate that we were meant to meet here so that we can be together forever!"

A plan started to form in the young witch's head. "Yes, it is destiny," she proclaimed. "It must be, we must travel back home together and go on a date!"

"Of course we must!"

"But there's just one problem," Wanda said normally. "Me and my brother lost our plane tickets home, so we're stuck here."

"Oh no," Evan looked heart broken, then his face lit up. "Wait a minute, we have tickets; my parents and me, I can give you two of our tickets!"

"Really," she pretended to be cautious. "But won't your mummy and daddy be cross?"

"What, nah; they have money, we can easily buy two more tickets with our credit card!"

"Alright, it's a plan, now you go and grab the tickets, I wouldn't tell your parents though; grown ups are stupid and wouldn't understand, how would they know what love is? Then come back and meet me here!"

"OK!" with that Evan ran all the way home, grabbed two plan tickets out of a desk draw and ran all the way back to find Wanda and Pietro waiting for him. "Here are the tickets my sweet, how will we meet again in NYC? I know, I'll call you!"

"No; I'll call you." She said firmly tacking the tickets and the twins ran to the air port and caught the first plane to New York they could.

NO OFFENCE IF YOU ARE; GAY I DON'T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU.

So, the next chappies up! We had some Xitro and some Wanda/Evan action, I hate the Wanda/Evan pairing though; it's just wrong, but I do love Xitro!

I realise that the last two chapters have had lots of flirting and 'relationships' (I say the word in inverted commas because the children are six) going on, so next time I won't have any flirting!

Again, have a look at my list and at least read numbers 2 and 3, I can not rate them highly enough!

Oh and guess what song inspired one of the verses of my Wanda song; there's a prize for everyone who guesses correctly: they get to be a character in my next chapter, I bet you all want that!


	9. Plain Madness

Babysitting

9 Plain Madness

Sorry I haven't updated for ages, but I just haven't had any free time, I could bore you with what I've been up to but it can be summed up with a few words: AS-Level Exams!

Oh and I became really motivated about half way through writing this chapter by the abridged series of Yu-Gi-Oh by Little Kuriboh and Evolution X: abridged by DEATH2REDNECKS, watch them please they're hilarious. In a weird writing frenzy I finished this chapter by completely changing Professor X's personality and beliefs, sorry about that but neh.

"Stupid bike, stupidly breaking down on the stupid road outside the stupid fucking airport, could have broken down outside a strip club or a bar but oh no, an airport. Stupidly my luck!"

People walking past steered well clear of the strange man muttering to himself. Maybe it was his gruff appearance, with his hard face and his stubbled chin, maybe it was because of what he was wearing; a biker's jacket and scruffy jeans, or maybe it was the fact that he _was_ talking to himself.

"Huuuuh." sighed the man wearily. "As if my day could get any worse!"

"Here, over here Pietro!"

"No, I think it's this way, Wanda will you please listen to me?"

"No time, you know we always end up arguing and I always end up winning."

"Yeah, but I always end up being right."

"_What was that!_"

"Nothing!"

"Good, then follow me." Wanda, for that was obviously who it was, ran through the crowd, dodging people in order to make her way towards what she hoped was the exit. "Are you still there Pietro?" she called behind her. "Pietro?" Wanda looked round to see her twin behind her only to run into something muscular and hard. "Offffffffffffft."

"Huh?" the gruff biker man, who everyone was avoiding, looked down to see a small girl lying at his feet. "What the…?"

"WANDA!" a small boy about the girl's age ran over and knelt beside her unconscious body. "You killed her," he screamed at the man. "You monster, you murdered my sister!"

"What? No I… I just…"

"Wanda?" begged Pietro, shaking his twin's limp form. "Wanda, wake up, please wake up. I can't live without you; you're my twin, my other half." People started gathering around the little drama unfolding in the airport. "Please sis don't die, don't leave me all alone." The audience started to sniff, one woman even blew her nose and everyone was glaring at the man responsible for the tragedy who was standing there looking very confused and highly embarrassed.

"Err, look kid…" he started and put his hand on Pietro's back.

The boy instantly shrugged it of and, still clutching his sister yelled. "Why, why? You were so young! You had so much to do! So much to see! So much to…EAT!" He descended to the floor, sobbing madly.

The onlookers started yelling at the biker and started throwing empty bottles and stones at him, one woman, who couldn't find a suitable missile, threw a pair of thongs at him, they hit him in the eye, temporarily blinding him and from that day on he was terrified of women's lingerie. "What the hell! Where are you people getting this stuff from? You must all carry round bottles and stones and crap in case you randomly find someone to throw them at!"

"What's going on here? Make way, make way!" About twelve burly security guards pushed their way to the centre of the crowd. "Now, now," said one of them, who looked like their boss, because he looked like he had brain function. "What's goin' on 'ere?"

The crowd started talking all at once each telling the story of how the biker callously killed the little girl in cold blood. While the security men were busy trying to find out what had actually happened, the man in the centre of the commotion silently slipped away.

The girl on the ground sat up and rubbed her head, "Owwwwwwwww."

"Wanda, you're alive!" said a thoroughly shocked Pietro. "I thought you were dead, huh."

"What, of course I'm not dead you idiot, now where's the bastard that did this to me?"

"Father said you shouldn't use that word."

"Oh who cares Tro; you're such a slimy little daddy's boy." She stood up and ran through the crowd to find the man from before.

"Am not a daddy's boy, hey, Wanda,_ wait_!" with that he stared pursuing his twin through the airport.

As they were running Wanda bumped into another boy about their own age.

"Hey watch where you're going!" she yelled at him.

"Oh sorry about that, it was completely my fault." apologised the boy hastily. He looked at Wanda and started blushing furiously.

"Huh, I doubt it," giggled Pietro. "Wanda's been bashing into everyone today!"

"Shut up Tro!"

"David, quickly or we'll miss our plane!" yelled a woman across the room.

"Sorry that's my mum calling, bye."

When he was gone Pietro turned to smirk at Wanda. "Ha, he fancied you rotten twin."

"Oh he did did he? Well I didn't like him one bit, maybe if he had a sexy alter ego who was his exact opposite in every way then I would have considered it."

Pietro shook his head "You say the strangest things. Anyway weren't you running after that man who knocked you over."

"Ohhhhhh yeah, I was after him…let's go!" and with that they ran through the crowd again.

The biker was just heading out of the airport's car park on his motorbike after getting it out of the repair shop.

"250 bucks for a new tyre what the hell was that guy smoking when he came up with that price."

After about five minutes he was dodging through traffic like a pro.

"Now if only I had a clear road I might be able to go fast enough to travel back in time, or break the fourth wall, hey I might be able to do both and stop people from making a film of me with no plot. Hummmmm if people made a film of me I wonder what it would be like, maybe there'll be awesome actors with great lines and brilliant characters will make cameo appearances in it, yeah but as long as they respect…HOLY CRAP!" he looked to his left and saw Pietro running beside him with Wanda on his back, he checked his speedometer and he was going over 60! "No way you little punks are going to steal my idea it will be my movie mine I tells ya, and just for trying to beat me I'll make sure you appear in none of the movies starring me, and hey all the movies about mutants will star me so you're SCREWED!"

"Wanda that man's talking to himself."

"I know Pietro, I think he's insane, but hey so were most of the people we have encountered thus far."

The biker man increased he speed and sped into Bayville.

"Ahhhh hell, I've gotta loose these kids," he glanced up. "Hey a manor, they'll never find me there!"

"Pie, why are you slowing down?"

"I….can't….run…anymore." Pietro, who was new to his super speed was exhausted.

"Damn it, hey wait…I think he's heading towards that big house on the hill up there in plain sight."

"Wait what, there's a big house on a hill," Pietro looked around wildly until he spotted the mansion. "Oh yeah, I never would have noticed that if not for you."

Wanda sighed, "Idiot."

"Hey Wanda,?"

"What?"

"Why can't you just use your power to take us up there?"

"Because my power can't do that."

"Why not; it does just about everything else!"

"Well fine, I'll try."

A blue glowing orb surrounded them for a second and then they were gone, luckily no one saw them go because the people of Bayville are extremely unobservant, or thick, or both.

The biker pulled up outside the manor and knocked on the door, an old man in a wheelchair greeted him at the door.

"Ahhh Logan my old friend how are you doing?"

"Eh? I'm fine chuck, I just had a little trouble on the way over, I saw a couple of young mutants but I think I lost 'em."

"Why on earth were you trying to loose them? They could come here to hone their skills and I could use them to rule the world…I mean save…save the world, of course that's what I meant."

"Well, I thought they were trying to break the fourth wall before me so…"

"Logan I have told you a million times no one would ever make a movie about you, not when they could make a movie about someone stronger, more handsome and younger, like me…me or Kenpachi Zaraki."

"Who?"

"Bleach."

"…"

"It's a brilliant Manga."

"Oh, I like Naruto."

"No! Not Naruto, don't say that, don't even think it!"

"Well I agree with baldy," Wanda chimed in as she walked towards them from where she and her brother had just materialised. "Naruto is such a Bleach ripp, but hell Death Note is the best."

"Ahhhhhh!" screamed the professor. "Quickly Logan it's Yachiru Kusajishi, sacrifice yourself to save me!"

"You idiot Yachiru has pink hair!"

"Huh," asked Pietro confused. "I have no idea what in the world you guys are talking about!"

"Pietro, you are no longer my brother, get out of here you non believer!"

"Errrrm guys don't you think we should get back to the plot?" Pietro asked.

"HAhahahahaha," laughed the professor. "This doesn't have a plot, if this was a fanfiction the author would be a terrible writer who makes it up as she goes along, I meant the three minute conversation back there was absolutely pointless!"

"WHTEVER!" yelled Pietro. "I DON'T' CARE, CAN WE JUST PLEASE CARRY ON WITHT THE STORY…PLEASE!

"Oh all right, killjoy," muttered the professor. "What is it that you kids want anyways?"

"We're trying to make our way back home." said Wanda.

"Well where do you live?" asked Wolverine.

The twins looked at each other and shrugged.

"I dunno," replied Pietro. "Earth I guess."

"Hummm?" pondered the professor. "Don't worry, come with me, I'll find out where you live using CEREBRO."

A few minutes later the professor lead them all into a room which was completely round and with a platform leading to the middle."

"Wow," said Wanda. "That platform defies the laws of Physics."

The professor turned to her. "Screw the rules; I have money!" 1)

"Wow, it's like a huge slide!" yelled Pietro, I get to go first!"

And without further ado he ran and slid down the wall until he stopped in the middle. "Hehe, that was fun."

"Foolish fool," shouted down the professor "Now you'll never get back up again!"

"Who says?"

"The laws of Physics!"

"But you said you could screw the rules?"

"I can, but you can't; you don't have any money…or green hair!"

"Well, actually…" said Wanda. A blue sphere enveloped Pietro and he ended up back on the platform with them.

"But…but…this cannot be," gasped the professor. "You seem to be even more powerful than me!" 'I'll just have to _kill her!_' he thought.

"So Chuck," grunted Wolverine. "This is a bid round room, hey, hey, if I had a film, that would be one of my lines!"

"Enough already Logan, you have no film, it does not exist!"

"I my mind it does."

"Yes Logan but in your mind god knows what happens; cats probably eat dogs, I am a skilled gymnast, X-Men members probably die or become gravely injured, I want you to know that what happens in your mind will never come to pass!"

"So this computer then," sighed Wanda. "I'm guessing it enhances your telepathic ability so that your mind can reach over the entire world and, if you wanted to, you could use it to easily kill everyone in existence."

"No."

…

"It's just a bid computer with a huge screen."

…

"It's absolutely brilliant for watching YouTube videos; it's like being at the cinema, really!"

…

"It even has surround sound!"

"So," said Wanda. "How's it going to help us get home?"

"I…well…you see…well we could always…or maybe…"

"Can it do anything?" asked Pietro.

"Wellllllllllllllllll…it has Google!"

"Oh brilliant." said Wanda sarcastically.

"Yes it is," said the professor excitedly. "All I have to do is type in you address on Google maps, or Google earth and we can find your way home!"

"Yeah but we're kids, we don't know our address."

"Why don't you try something other than Google," asked Pietro. "Like Ask Jeeves or ?"

"No! I will never give up on Google; it knows everything!"

He typed in their names on google and clicked on the first link he saw.

"Ohhh, there's a sight here dedicated to babysitters who have come together to plot revenge against you!" said the professor 'hmmm, maybe I can use them to kill the one more powerful than me,' he thought 'lets see Sabertooth, Mystique, Colossus, Fireruez187 (must be Pyro) and Indigo-Night-Wisp. What the hell, these people are useless; they all work for Magneto already, they're all pure evil, especially Indigo-Night-Wisp!' out loud he said "I don't think this will help us."

He clicked on the back button and went onto the next link which was an old newspaper article:

MASTER OF MAGNETISM HAS TWINS

"Oh my god!" shouted the professor. "Magneto…is a woman, I knew it!"

"No he's not," said Pietro slowly. "He's our father."

"Oh, OH! Really?"

"Yup."

"Well why didn't you say, I know where he lives, I could take you there in a second."

"Wait, wait, wait," said Wanda. "You know where he lives?"

"Yes of course I do, we're best friends you know."

"But I thought you hated each other."

"Nah, it's just an act, I was over there last night actually watching the Lord of the Rings box set: the Extended Edition, heh, did you know your father does an excellent Gandalf impression!"

"Wow," said Wanda. "You are a nerd!"

"Yes well, shall we go?"

"OK."

"This is the X-Jet."

"Wow, are you serious," asked Pietro in disbelief. "You actually called it the X-Jet!"

"Yes."

"That's lame."

"No way it's lame," cried the professor indignantly. "I call everything the X-something! I have an X-Van, an X-Pool, an X-Door, even an X-Horse."

"An "X-…horse?"

"Yes…it's for when the X-Van breaks down but it has a jet engine and machine guns…violence is wrong kids."

"Wow, all those things have ridiculous names." said Wanda.

"No they don't I haven't told you the half of it, there's the X-Tree, the X-mansion, the X-Cave…"

Half an hour later the jet landed out side the twins house.

"…the X-Water fall and the X-Cat. Well I think that's about everything!"

"Charles!" outside the door was Magneto I a pink flowery dressing gown, he waved to his old friend as he slowly exited the X-Jet.

"Magnus," smiled Charles. "I have something for you!"

"Oh?"

"Daddy!" squealed Wanda and Pietro as they both ran up and hugged their father.

"Wanda, Pietro, what the hell are you doing out here; I thought you were in bed!"

"We haven't been home for three days dad!" exclaimed Wanda.

"Oh, I thought it was quiet around the house."

"Ha," laughed Xavier. "And I thought I was a bad parent for abandoning my son before he was even born!"

"You have a son?" asked Magneto.

Charles nervously looked around. "No, no, what are you talking about? A son, me? If I had a son I would have to pay child benefits, as if that's going to happen!"

"Well goodbye Charles, thank you for bringing my children home…I don't suppose you want to keep them do you?"

"Nope!"

"Well, see you later."

"Wait!"

"What is it?"

"Do it."

"What? No!"

"Oh go on."

"No."

"Go on."

"No."

"Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssseeeeeeee!"

"Oh all right," Magneto cleared his throat. "Hem, hem, hem. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

"Yey!" With that Xavier got back on the plane and flew away as Magneto lead his children back into the house.

As his children were boring him with tales of their adventures he got a telepathic message from Xavier in the plane.

'Magnus, that daughter of yours, she's quite powerful isn't she?'

'Yes she is, much more so than her brother.'

'Yes, much more powerful than us I think old friend.'

'Really, you think so?'

'Oh yes, maybe it would be safer for both of us if she were taken care of.'

'Charles! You want me to kill my own daughter and here everyone thinks you're a pacifist!'

'Neh, peace is overrated, go on, kill her; it would amuse me."

'No Charles, I won't kill her, come on, even I'm not that evil! No I'll just lock her up for the rest of her life like an animal and leave her there so people can do god knows what to her and where she'll probably swear revenge on me and wish herself and I were both dead every second of every day. How's that for you?'

'Well I was going to suggest having me put mental blocks in her mind to suppress her powers but that works too!'

Wanda and Pietro were in their room.

"So Wands what do you want to do tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night Pietro: try to take over the world!"

Little Kuriboh rules

It's finally finished *sniff* I'd just like to thank everyone who's supported me through this, thanks for leaving me brilliant comments huggs and kisses for all!

I think I'm going to write for Bleach for a while (Bleach and Death Note are the best Mangas ever, watch or read them!), so when I get back into the X-Men: Evo mood I'll write more.

Till then Toodle Pip!


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